Are we in fear of turning 25?

I’ve decided to join those who write about what it’s like to turn 25. I’m about 4 months off from doing so and I’m not in fear as though this age means I’m getting “old”… I’m actually really excited. It does mean that I will be a quarter of a century old… it does mean I’ll be half way to 50. I can no longer be considered “youth”…. young yes… totally and completely young.  Other people who I have known that have got to this age have said that it makes them feel old. I do not really understand that sorry. Even with a housemate of mine turning 30 and saying the same thing… It’s not old. 

Old to me is where you’re wrinkly all over, have grey hair, need help with getting on the bus and can no longer remember your grandkids. Before that we’re young. Even my mother whose age I will not reveal, to me is young. 

But why is old a “bad” thing anyway? Am I too young to be answering the question… most people would agree that I am. What do I know at my age about the woes and misery of life if I haven’t lived yet. I’m not at that “stage” of life where I can look back and say “In my day we used to walk 50 miles in knee deep snow just to get to the other side of the road…” 

I will disagree with those who believe this to be true. I have already lived. It’s 25 years. Yes it’s not as long as, 30, 40, 50 years, etc… but still… what do people think they have been doing for 25 years… sitting around and watching the days go by without a care in the world… I don’t think so… 

For those of you who know me and know me well, know that I have well and truly been affected by life.

I have learnt a lot from life. I have learnt that life comes with its ups and downs. I have learnt a lot about people. That we are all human trying to get along. I have learnt a lot about babies and children. That they need love, stability and a place where they can belong. 

I have learnt a lot from my friendships. Friends sometimes come and go… I will always remember who you are even if in years to come we do not see each other. I have learnt that family are not the people we choose to belong to but that I will always love them and stick by them – unconditionally. 

I have learnt that at 18 although legally I was an adult… that really I was sill a teenager and that I am still learning about what it is to be an adult and will probably still be learning about that at age 80, just like I know my grandparents are. I have learnt that the plan I had at age of five to be a teacher and a mother doesn’t necessarily have to be stuck to and that, that is ok. 

I have also learnt that finding love… is like looking for a needle in a haystack… 

To me I choose to enjoy getting older. Learning more from life. Getting what I want from this life that I have. Be grateful that I am alive to live it. Hopefully I will learn about what it is to “stress less”, to be a happy with what I have… not always wanting the new… staying healthy without the pressure of being “skinny”… travelling to other parts of Australia and the world that I haven’t seen… and to be open to every new challenge that comes my way.

Yay to turning 25! It’s going to be great. 🙂 

Signing off… time to face the music… 

 

 

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Are we having the time of our lives?

I have stopped and thought about this post many times. What did I want to say? What will I end up writing? Will this have an effect on how people who know me in the outside world see me and who I am? I feel both apprehensive and positive about writing on this subject.

I want to share my thoughts, feelings and opinions about an Australian Drama called “The time of our lives”

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I remember wanting to write a post after watching the first episode. I noticed myself being very quick to judge and criticise the characters that we as the audience barely knew. It was only episode one! I thought ok… maybe I need to watch another episode before I start writing about it… However, as the weeks went on. I realised that I couldn’t work out how I felt or thought about these people. My secret favourite was Bernadette (Justine Clarke)… she had the clothes I liked, gorgeous twin girls, I loved her approach to “step-parenting”, she had a good job… she just had a warmth about her – there was an immediate liking to her.  My least favourite in the beginning was Caroline (Claudia Karvan)… a completely different person to Bernadette. I didn’t feel an instant liking to her… because I wasn’t sure about her parenting or choice in the name Carmody… I felt disconnected to her as a person. I started to see myself agree with her husband.

Now I wish that I could go back to that first episode and take back what I was thinking. I am generally speaking not that type of person. I like to see people for who they are. I like to see that we are all human beings, that we may have different lives, different ideas on how to live… that there is no “right” or “wrong” way of going about things.  I don’t look at people and judge them. It’s just not me. I don’t believe it is up to me to do so. What right do I have? Even with family and friends that I’ve known for years. It’s not my life. At the end of day they are the people who have to live their lives the way they choose to. Or in the case of this TV show… the way the writers decide their character’s lives.

With this in mind. I now see this show with very different eyes. I see all the characters, their struggles, their triumphs, their bad days, good days, the decisions they are making, how all of this affects them, the people around them and how their lives unfold. I can see the human side to all of them. I can see that the writers of this show have taken good care in giving us a broad picture of Australian life as it is today. There is no set path to everyone. I can see why some people will choose to relate to some of the characters more than others and I can understand why some will be liked more than others.

Bernadette will ‘secretly’ be my favourite in the show… Because to me she is just “totally awesome” and she reminds me of someone in my life… But I don’t think I have a least favourite or ever will…

At the end of the day it’s not really about that…

I am hooked on another great Australian Drama and lovin’ it!!

Are we having the time of our lives? I can only speak for myself… really.

Signing off… because there is a cat here in desperate need of my attention!

Happy Saturday 🙂

 

Are we too old for fairy-tales?

I am reading “Between the Lines” by Jodi Picoult and her daughter Samantha van Leer. I am not ashamed to admit that as an adult I’m reading a teenage fairy tale. A book that some people would argue is not for someone my age and that I should be reading something else. Like the main character herself I am questioning the reason for reading a book that I really enjoy.

I decided on reading this book because I have never read anything by Jodi Picoult. So many of my friends have read her work and I don’t know why I never have. A while ago a friend of mine suggested that I read her books because she felt they were engaging. She thought that I would like her stories because people can relate to them.

In picking up a book that is essentially a fairy tale. You might be asking; can anyone relate to that? If we look back to when fairy-tales were first written. Most of them are quite gory, there are acts of cruelty, characters cutting body-parts up, etc. It has only been over time where fairy-tales have become friendlier or ‘disneyed’. The Disney versions do not appear to be relatable.

Fairy-tales are a place that begins in “Once upon a time” and ends in “They lived happily ever-after”. If I was generalising I would say that most girls dream of being a Princess and having their Prince come and rescue them. When we watch a Disney adaptation of a fairy-tale we are lead to believe that for 90 mins that if we wish upon a star our dreams will come true and we will be forever happy.

Do we grow out of this dream? Can this dream come true? If we live by good morals and work hard will we eventually be leading a happy life.

The first part of “Between the Lines” does start with “Once upon a time”. It continues for a while with other classic fairy-tale lines. As we delve into the story though it develops as a story of fantasy vs reality. Delilah the main female character is contemplating her life believing to be of a miserable one. She is captured by the fairy-tale she is reading because Oliver the Prince in the story is somewhat similar to her. Delilah and myself might as well be the same person or at least in some ways.

I have been captured by her story in a very similar way. I’ve grown up enough to realise the difference between feeling miserable and actually believing I have a miserable life. Thank goodness for that. At the age of 15 like Delilah though I thought differently. I’m very close to being ten years older than 15.

Because of this I’ve been reflecting a lot on who I was then and who I am now. This book couldn’t have come at a better time, really. It has landed in my lap at time when I most need it. It is reminding me that at 15 I had so many worries, I thought so badly of the person that I was, I cared too much about what other people thought. I didn’t really think I was going anywhere. It mostly came down to superficial “stuff”.

I used to think that the image I portrayed on the the outside was a reflection of who I was on the inside. That the clothes I wore, the house I lived in or the possessions I owned meant something. Most teenagers might be thinking that they feel as though their every movements are being watched. By not only their family and friends but even by strangers.

We grow up to realise that the majority of people on this planet have no idea who you are or that you even exist. Why would they care about the clothes you wear on your back? I wish I could tell my 15 year old self to chill out and relax. If I had a chance to be 15 again there are so many things I’d do differently.

I guess that is why I really like this book. It is an easy read and has taken my only a few days to nearly get to the end. But it is good because in its simplicity I have found a story where I can really see myself. It doesn’t matter that it wasn’t intended to be read by adults. It doesn’t matter that it has fairy-tale like themes,etc. It doesn’t matter that what happens in this story would probably never happen in reality. What matters is that I have gotten something out of it… and that I’m sure other people have too.

Are we ever too old for fairy-tales?

Shouldn’t it be Autumn?

It’s the 10th of March 2013 and it’s hot. I feel very conflicted by this because here in Melbourne according to the seasons the weather should be cooling down not heating up. We should be sleeping not tossing and turning in the heat.
We should be eating soup not salad.
We should be wearing a jumper not shorts and a t-shirt.

I don’t know how other people feel but to have an extended summer is frustrating!

I’ve always wished for consistent weather in Melbourne but I only want it, if it coincides with the season we’re in.

However of course being typical of Melbourne – my wish remains ungranted!

I now probably sound like I’m grumpy… and guess what? The heat makes me bothersome so yes I am indeed in a grumpy mood.

I’m looking out for the coloured leaves, the tights unders dresses, the boots, not having a fan in my room and the deliciously comforting food.

Right now, the thought of going outside and sweating and sweltering through the day is giving me the urge to stay at home and not really do much!

I just want cooler weather and I bet I’m not the only one!!

 

 

Whistle while you work

I cannot travel, write, clean, bake or do the dishes without listening to music. Even in a house that I share if I must listen to my ipod then I do. Find me on a tram or in a car and the music is blaring.

I have to be able to listen to good lyrics and sometimes sing-a-long when the time comes. It gets me motivated to do the things that I need to do.

Right now I’m listening to “Realize” by Colbie Caillat next on the list is “Better by Home Soon” by Crowded House. I’m in a chilled out mood but need something that cheers me up. I have eclectic taste. When people ask me what type of music that I like I usually don’t actually know the answer. I can recognise songs but usually never know the artist or band or what the song is called. Sort of embarrassing for someone who gets a lot of music.

Music is great because it serves a multiple of purposes. It’s played at both weddings and funerals. At parties, sporting events, on road trips, in people’s homes, in movies; the list is endless.

It evokes many emotions; can make you feel sad, happy, enlightened, spiritual, excited, etc.

People have tried to become famous out of it, sung in the shower and busked on the street.

There are many reasons to celebrate music.

Today I’m celebrating music because it’s helping me write. I have had many recent life events to deal with recently and it’s all pouring out in words. The music is helping me to keep focused. It’s helping me to keep going. To get what I need to write out onto the page.

I don’t know how far I’ll go with whatever it is that I’m writing but for some reason it’s all coming to me and I know that I’m taking the opportunity to get onto to paper or in this case computer screen. 

Ahhh now I hear the voice of Micheal Jackson and “Don’t Stop to you Get Enough” and think to myself that’s pretty much what I’m doing with my writing!!

I’ll write and write and write until there is nothing left in me to write… which probably won’t happen until I take my last breaths….

“Just whistle while you work
And cheerfully together we can tidy up the place
So hum a merry tune
It won’t take long when there’s a song to help you set the pace

And as you sweep the room
Imagine that the broom is someone that you love
And soon you’ll find you’re dancing to the tune

(Spoken: Oh, no, no, no, no! Put them in the tub)
When hearts are high the time will fly so whistle while you work

*(Another version)*
Just whistle while you work
Put on that grin and start right in to whistle loud and long
Just hum a merry tune
Just do your best and take a rest and sing yourself a song

When there’s too much to do
Don’t let it bother you, forget your troubles,
Try to be just like a cheerful chick-a-dee

And whistle while you work
Come on get smart, tune up and start
To whistle while you work”

http://www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/snowwhiteandthesevendwarfs/whistlewhileyouwork.htm

Because having fun while doing what some might consider a chore is much more enjoyable then sitting in sound of silence. Ha Ha 😉

Signing off as “True Colours” is playing in my head… 🙂

 

 

 

A change of heart

It turns out that in this present moment I haven’t gained a teaching position for term 1, 2013.

Which I am surprisingly enough ok with. I will admit it’s not exactly where I thought I would end up at the start of this year. I thought finishing my degree would mean that I would start full-time work as a teacher.

But you know what it’s not the end of the earth.

In everything that I have gone through and the stress that I have been put through because of it I am looking forward to having a different year than originally planned.

I have gained employment with a teaching agency which will give me relief teaching work and am hoping to have some other child related work to get me by.

But in the mean time I am happy to report that I have started a new hobby – art journalling:

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The first picture is based on a poem I wrote and thought that it would be a good place to start – actually most of these are just experimenting with ideas. But in terms of having something to write I find myself keeping two separate journals. One for thoughts and one for art.

The second picture is because I always find myself drawing flowers.

The third is because I wanted to see if I could make something look like an old envelope/letter. The stamps in the corner all mean different things to me.

The last one is still a work in progress and the writing are quotes to do with positive emotions and reasons as to why I want to get into art journalling.

In the middle of me trying all of this out…

My Grandpa passed away – Tuesday 22nd of Jan 2013. He did so in a very peaceful way which was what he wanted.

In the past few days I have experienced as one would expect a whole series of emotions.

But ultimately I just want to remember him. When I look back and think about the person who he is… I remember being at school with my Grandma and her telling me he used to be a teacher. I think that over the years of figuring out what I wanted to do with my life, he has had some influence on me being a teacher.

I haven’t had the strongest relationship with him but I think at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter… He is still my Grandpa. I will remember him…

I will go on to someday getting a teaching contract, it doesn’t mean that I’m not a teacher as I am but getting a full-time job might just take a little longer than originally planned.

That’s ok.

In the meantime to those reading this post – despite the not so great quality of these photos, I do hope that you enjoy them.

Signing off – to enjoy the rest of the weekend!

 

 

Just having a good time

As usual this year I didn’t make a news year resolution. I don’t believe in them. Mainly due to the fact that by February they get broken. But also because I believe that the new year is simply the passing of time. I know that for many people making a resolution is like saying you have a fresh start.

To me each day is a fresh start. It’s new, it’s yours and you make it how you wish. Each morning I wake and say to myself “it’s a new day!” Whether I had a great day or not, it doesn’t matter I have a new day to do things, organise things, to work, to plan or whatever it is that you do.

Although I do want to have more fun this year. I know that for sure. I find myself to be someone who is too serious. If I get stressed then I get stuck in that moment and can’t seem to enjoy myself. I can’t seem to simply go with the flow and have a good time.

For the past two weeks I have been stuck at home recovering from a throat infection. At first it started out like the flu but progressively it got worse. It was so bad that it felt as though I had a rock stuck in my throat and I was wearing jumpers when the weather was hot because of my tempreature. I was miserable. I soaked up a lot of tv and ate a lot of home delivered food because I didn’t want to go outside – due to symptons becoming worse.

By finally managing to go to my doctor I was prescribed anti-biotics and finally feel like myself again. Tonight I went out with a friend and came home feeling great!

I need to do that more. Not just want but need. I honestly 100% feel like this is a real need.

It was just a simple evening with dinner, dessert and lots of talking but it really was great.

I think with being a natural home-body and introvert I can get too comfortable with spending time at home. I’m never bored when I’m home because I’m always doing one of many creative hobbies. Which does make me happy.

But everyone including me needs to interact with other human beings and have fun. It doesn’t have to be a big night or day. But just something that allows us to have a good talk, laugh and try new places to eat.

Plus being a coeliac I have a bigger reason to not get stuck with the same old places simply because I’m secure in knowing the food is gluten free. In 2013 I know there are more and more options for us with dietry requirements. I don’t see why we have to miss out because we can’t eat certain foods.

It’s a new year, same me but more fun! Lets do it. 🙂

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