She did not get “Friends” straight away.

As I think about the past year and being persistent with pursuing my teaching career. I think about how positive thinking has taken on many forms. It has not always come easy. In fact to think positively is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. It is not natural when you are feeling down, frustrated, angry and disappointed in life to change those thoughts into something positive. But if you don’t life inevitably becomes almost impossible to live. 

Difficult life situations although hidden by being hard to deal with can actually become things that are good in life. Because we learn from them. I know one day I will look back on today. I will look back on the time that I am in now trying to figure it all out and I will think about how far I have come. I know this to be true because I have already experienced this feeling. I have already reflected on life events that happened once upon a time. Knowing this to be true is one of the many reasons why I keep going.

I am happy for those people who got teaching jobs last year and thanks to social media I have become aware of roughly how many but also roughly how many who didn’t. Some of these people who went on to get jobs have also been complaining about the work load. It is a double edged sword to achieve what you want. To those people who have full time teaching jobs, I urge you to not complain. Because out of thousands of graduates you were chosen. You were hired as a teacher. Instead maybe you think of your peers who don’t have teaching work. How would you feel if you were them?

On the other side of happiness there comes a little bit of sadness. For those graduates who are still searching. Some of these people are not just searching for teaching roles. They are trying to still live lives despite not having what they worked so very hard for. Yet they are still going. Because they think about how great it is going to be when they get there. I think although it has become harder for me and the thousands still looking we are the ones that will appreciate it more. 

Lisa Kudrow was the commencement speaker at the graduation ceremony for Vassar College in 2010. I watched her speech this morning via YouTube. She graduated from Vassa with a BA in Biology in 1985. She did not get her role as Phobe Buffay on “Friends” until 1994. She first had to make the decision to pursue a different career than what she studied in and then she had to overcome many obstacles before landing her first ‘real’ job. 

Two things that stood out from this speech for me is how she said that your 20s are a series of different crossroads and that after being fired from “Frasier”(another TV show…) she still managed to get up in the morning. That if she was able to simply get up each day, leave her apartment and still live her life. She was coping really well. “Friends” changed her life. It didn’t happen straight away. 

One day I will know of a similar feeling. My life will be changed somehow. It hasn’t happened just yet. But it will, I know it will. If you are someone who is still searching for this same feeling, for this same change…then that is ok because your ‘one day’ will happen, just you wait and see. 

Here is the link to Lisa’s speech. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uLkUoeMNeeY 

The rest of our lives…

A cousin of mine is year 10 and is 15 years old. She is already being asked what she wants to do with the rest of her life. She has no idea; it’s a tough question to ask anyone let alone someone who is 15. When I was 15 I had no idea. When I was 21 I thought I knew exactly what I wanted to do… – be a Primary School Teacher. Now approaching my 25th birthday I’m asking myself the same question and I just don’t know.

I still think I’m too young to have it all “figured out”. Maybe, if I had been employed as a teacher at the end of last year; I would have a better idea. Upon reflection in not having straight away gotten a job I am “umming” and “ahhing” over what I want to do.

Earlier this year I was offered a job interview for a Kindergarten Teaching role – I spoke to the lady on the phone who was making the offer and because I don’t have quite the right qualifications I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t even go to the interview to see what it was all about. It got me thinking that with nannying experience and knowing that I love littlies – I thought to myself… what if I went back to uni and studied Early Childhood Edcuation?

What if I did both teaching and nannying? What if I went back to the idea of opening an etsy store? What if, what if, what if?

Is that all life is – a whole bunch of what ifs just waiting to never truly be answered?

Plus do I have to do the same thing for the rest of my life?

To be honest if someone asked what I wanted out of life. I would say that I just wanted to be happy. I don’t think there is a clear path for anyone to take. Some of us might be happy doing the same old thing forever whereas others might need to change our minds a couple of times. The rest of our lives is a long time to think about. I would rather just take my time.

Maybe every year for me can be new and different. I could find new things to do. It might be a bit unstable or less secure but I’m in my 20s. Do I really need to “figure it out?”

Does my life when in the stage of just looking out for myself really have to be so serious? I think all of us needs to relax a little bit. Especially myself.

I could ask the world a million questions but at the end of the day it’s my life and it is there for me to live it and how I would like to.

Signing off to go enjoy the rest of my Sunday!

My new job!!

I started a new job on Monday! I work in before and after school which means that every day Monday to Friday I get to go to one school and provide care for children aged 5-12 in both the morning and afternoon. The split shift is a hard adjustment. The job itself is wonderful.

The morning starts with setting up the kitchen with breakfast for the children, wiping down the tables and discussing the days activities with my co-ordinator.

As the children arrive with their parents what they do varies. Some decide to go straight into playing a game, doing arts and crafts or their homework. The kids I work with are diligent with their schoolwork, polite and very fun to be around.

As they settle into the morning some ask for milo, cereal or toast. While others have already had their breakfast. There are only a few kids who come in the mornings with the most being about 10.

One of the kids insists I don’t give her enough milo. I laugh to myself as I used to be a lover of milo and would enjoy much more than she gets given. This is one of the great things about working with children. When you realise how similar you are or once were.

The afternoons are a much busier affair. We can have 20+ children. I know as a teacher that, that is normal. However, it’s very different in this job. Although there are activties planned it can be quite unstructured.

We do ball games, arts and crafts, colouring competitions, cooking, etc. It can be very busy!

The kids are all different too as some don’t really want to participate. As someone who experienced going to both before and after school care I can really appreciate where they’re coming from. They want to be at home.

With a bit of encouragement to have them join in there is a fine line between wanting them to participate and be a part of the group and not pushing them in doing something they don’t want to do.

In drips and drabs the children leave until eventually there is no one left and it’s time to go home. As the assistant I’m not always there for this depending on ratios and on a Friday it’s a most common occurance… which is good because by then I’m ready to go home early.

So far everyday I’ve been thinking to myself “am I seriously getting paid for this?” “I’m having too much fun!”

I think that’s a sign that I pretty much love my new job.

Teaching is still on the cards but for now I’m pretty happy!!

Siging off – I need a nap! 😉

Enjoy it and stop worrying about your next step!

“Your purpose may not always be obvious, but always remember that you do have a purpose.”

—- Rodney Williams —-

I feel like I’ve gotten to the part of my life that’s like being in transit at the airport. I’m waiting for the plane to be ready to fly me to my next destination. I completed my university degree about two weeks ago now and believe to have experienced a downward spiral of emotions from my initial release and relief of finishing. My Mum has reminded me that where I am in my life at the moment is ok.

Completing my degree is a huge achievement and what I have found hard is to sit with this thought. To be in the moment.

I’ve been on a whirlwind of job searching and working in my current job/s as a nanny/babysitter and even though I have had more time than when I was a student it’s almost like I feel like I haven’t had the time to do anything else. I haven’t even had a couple of drinks with friends! How crazy is that?

Stress has taken over and what or who for?

Within the last few days I have decided that for now on I just have to live my life how it is, be in the moment and see where it takes me. Mum is right, it’s ok. It’s totally ok.

I’ve had many conversations with people who know me well recently about my life about what I’m trying to “figure out” and the best thing that I heard is “to stop worrying about figuring it and just have some down time because even when you think you have figured it all out, you really haven’t”
All I can say after hearing that is that I feel much better about it all. It’s not to say that I’ll put a stop to all that I’ve been doing. It’s just to say that I’m going to do my best to enjoy finishing something that has taken four years of my life to complete.

I put so much pressure on myself sometimes and I think that it’s taken me the last four years to realise this about myself. I’ve had a tough four years. I’m not just talking about my studies either. In my personal life I have experienced a lot of hard things that we as human beings endure. I even got to the point last year where I was stressed so much that I became sick a lot of the time, facing a diagnosis of Coeliac Disease, having my appendix removed and dealing with other bowel and adominal problems. Three years into my degree and I was ready to give up.

Now here I am and I’ve done it. I’ve put in all the hard work. I’ve achieved great results even in the face of hard times and I’ve conquered my degree. I’m a university graduate.

I’m a teacher!

That’s the first time I’ve managed to write that, to say it do myself and it feels great!

I’m finally congratulating myself and seeing what I’ve done and how amazing it is.

Plus I’ve just organised to celebrate with a uni friend of my mine – finally!

Lesson of the day:

If you’ve just completed something like finishing school, uni, a competition or anything else that has taken a lot of work, whatever that may be.  Enjoy it, stop worrying about your next step because in time your next chapter will begin! 🙂

It’s strange but good to be home!

 

 

 

 

I’ve just come home from living in a very remote community in the Northern Territory, Australia. I was there for a six week teaching placement and have to say that although my days and weeks were difficult, challenging and I struggled a bit even with thoughts of wanting to go home, that it was one of the best, amazing and inspirational experiences that I have ever had in my life so far. In fact now that I’m home even though I’m very happy to be here I’ve started to realise how desperately I would have liked to stay. I’m tired, missing the kids and finding it hard to adjust being back in Melbourne.

I can tell you being back here and re-adjusting to Melbourne life is almost harder than my first week in the community I was in and it’s mainly due to being around lots of people and also being in my room alone… When I first arrived in that community, all I thought was how blissfully peaceful it was and how nice it was with the sun going down as we were un-packing the car.

The first challenge that I had to face was living in a school library, only having a cold tap at the sink, de-frosting meat for all our cooking and having to check for frogs and toads in the toilet. As the weeks progressed I noticed how much I was missing simple comforts of life and a lot of things that I took for granted.

Amongst having to boil a kettle for washing dishes, I started to miss sitting on a couch, I wasn’t able to use my personal laptop for connecting to the internet (instead was supplied with the use of a school’s one), the internet itself was slow so no blogging etc, all the food I had to eat was already there and apart from a really expensive and basic shop there was no backup. We were five hours to the nearest town so there was also the factor of isolation. If it wasn’t for my fellow student teacher I quite possibly would have gone home earlier than originally planned – she was the person who I talked to, cooked with, worked with, watch movies with, etc and I’m happy to report I have made a new friend!

Apart from the teaching we were able to get go down to the local river, go for walks and when back in Katherine on a school trip see some amazing sights! A boat cruise down Katherine Gorge was probably the high-light, with amazing cliffs, clear water and a place to swim – you could not have asked for anything better to do!

Now that I’m home I’m asking myself – did it really happen? Because it almost feels like it didn’t. I’m sitting here in my room thinking – what am I doing here? I should be somewhere else, shouldn’t I? I’ve been to have a “real” coffee, eat at the Vic Markets with my Dad, gone to the milkbar because I was out of milk, sit on my bed, pat my cat and say hello to some of house-mates. The funniest part about coming back to Melbourne is apart from seeing family and friends the two things that I’m looking forward to the most is being able to use a hot tap and sitting on a couch!

I never thought I would be excited by such simple things, but there you go.

It’s strange and good to be home and there is not much else to say.

Signing off while thinking to myself – wow I can actually blog again!

 

 

 

I have writer’s block!!!

I have the urge to write but don’t know what to write. This is a rare occurence for me. A rare occurence indeed. Ususally I can write at any time even if it’s about the most mundane things… But this evening as I decided it was about time to write again – anything, just anything to get me going – I thought but I have nothing that I want to write about…

So instead I’m going to try this thing called a ‘stream of  consciousness’ or a continuous flow of thoughts in writing whereby I write all my thoughts as I think them… goodness I hope this isn’t over sharing

Here we go: 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3,2, 1…

What am I afraid of? I’m listening in my mind to this song about someone being afraid of something to do with love but what is that I’m afraid of? Obviously I’m listening to this song because I can in some way I relate to it but I’ve never been in love so am I afraid of it? But I have had a broken heart just not in the traditional sense of it… my eyes are drooping so really I should sleep but I know as soon as I climb into bed it’s not going to happen that’s all I want to write  now… sleep gosh there is a part of me that wishes I wasn’t on holidays…

The sound of my fingers typing is a soothing sound that I like because it means that I’m writing something that’s just for me something that no one has to like it’s just for me just for me that’s what I like best about this typing though is very different to holding a pen or a pencil I feel as though somehow handwriting is nicer than typing…goodness I’m so old-fashioned why am I so old-fashioned?

If you look at my hair you wouldn’t think it was old-fashioned or the act of shaving it off maybe I’m partly old-fashioned and partly not… I miss you, you know… here I am getting that sinking feeling again of missing a person you love wait love in its traditional form isn’t all about the love between man and woman or woman and woman or man and man love can be friend and friend pet and owner etc but come on I am human I want the other kind…

Gosh people could be reading this soon what if I just deleted this entire post. Emma keep your eyes open. No. Go to bed. No awake. Awake is where you’ll be when you feel like this…

I am strong I know it other people know it and if I cry it’s not a sign of weakness it’s not it’s just not…hmmm why not have a sip of hot chocolate with almond milk yes that’s right I spent more than any normal person should on one litre of milk just so I knew what it bloody well tasted like and crap it had to taste so bloody good that I’ll buy it again why just why food for me has become an expense I mean I know I don’t need almond milk but in so many gluten-free recipes they use almond and rice milk so I thought oh what’s the harm in trying this milk it’s meant to be good for you so why bloody not the only problem is because I also didn’t want the milk loaded with sugar I got the bloody organic one I want so much to be healthy so I don’t have to go to fing hospital but I also don’t want to be poor why make people who have fing coeliac disease pay for it out of their hard-earned money why… so back to that crying thing yeah it’s happened

oh good it’s stopped sigh deep breath sigh and deep breath

ok I’m ok

19 days till I fly to Darwin why did I sign up for swirl I mean I know why but now I’m scared I’m excited but lets face it if I was lying I’d be saying I’m so excited and so honoured to be given this opportunity blah w****r is what I would call myself if I said that because it’s not true I mean the teaching thing the story telling thing great the bloody remote thing what was I thinking oh yeah I wanted the challenge crap I have to eat gluten-free food what was I thinking…oh this is stupid I’ll be fine no seriously ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ok need to change my thoughts to something different.

Saw “Annie” today it was so fantastic and being able to see it with a great friend made it all the worth while and leaving the theatre we saw a wedding party who gets married in winter idiots. oh there would have been many reasons but seriously idiots.

ok I need to stop this otherwise the whole world if the whole world is reading will know my inner most thoughts and I don’t want that…

 

Activity complete. Back to normal:

It’s always good to write like that once in a while and it got me out of my writer’s block.

If there are readers of this post please don’t take my thoughts too seriously they were literally in the moment I didn’t plan what I was writing they came to me at the moment – also I’m tired so any worry or concern or even a positive emotion has been heightened by 1,000… plus the last time I did this I was in a state of joy and there were very different results I can tell you.

Lesson of today (to writers):

Writing all your thoughts like this can be a great way to ‘unleash’ anything that needs to be taken out of your mind to you free you up and write and also you might be surprised in what you come up with – some great story could come out of it!

*note* I read over what I wrote in the end for spelling and grammar in no way though did I delete anything that I wrote – that would defeat the purpose.

 

 

Printers, photocopiers, scanners and staplers!!!

You’ve completed the assignment, you’ve put together the last piece of the lesson and are ready to print.

As simple as that sounds it never is. You print and print and print…then it gets to the last page and the printer flashes: ERROR! ERROR! ERROR!

You think…oh drat what now – all I want is for this to be printed!!! Urggh!

So you unjam the paper, put more paper in the machine and make sure there is enough ink. All great so you print and print and print.

The printing is finished. YAY!!! We all shout for joy.

So you grab the stapler to staple the pages together. All simple again.

But wait. NO. You staple the pages TEN times before the stapler runs out of staplers.

A trip to the supermarket is needed.

You come home.

Staple – go through what seems like the box and FINALLY the pages get stapled together!!

YAY another small victory.

Then you put together the pieces of a lesson plan – the lesson that you have to teach TOMORROW!

This needs to be scanned…that needs to be photocopied… The scanner is having the issues…

The photocopier is OUT OF INK…

There aren’t any other solutions…

Do you make the templates yourself – yes!! Urgh…

So much effort, just for one small activity…

No one else notices… 😦

The next day the kids do some GREAT work.

All the stress gone.

YAY now some real celebration can commence until the next battle with the printer, photocopier, scanner and stapler – especially the dreaded stapler.

Apparently once you’re a real teacher you can bluff your way through these situations.

Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Looking forward to that.

Sleep tight and don’t let the bedbugs or staplers bite.

This so called modern-life we live in…

Is is just me or does everything feel like a big deal to people these days?

A) You can’t say that or he/she’ll will be offended

B) You have to be really careful about what you name your baby or otherwise they’ll be stuck with something boring or be teased – yet Apple or Cruz is somehow accepted because that baby belongs to a celebrity… and Molly spelt Mollie is also ok, because at least then the spelling is unique… heaven forbid people stick with Sarah or Alex…

C) Your children have to live in amazingly decorated rooms cos otherwise they will have no friends

D) Your child’s first birthday party or any birthday party for your child has to include a jumping castle, a face painter, pass the parcel with carefully selected paper – also properly decorated because apparently newspaper isn’t the way to go anymore, plus goodie bags without lollies and instead healthy snacks cos no child is allowed fairy bread anymore even on their birthday

D) Children under five mustn’t watch T.V – it will most certainly rot their brain or worse – have them not being able to read before they go to school

E) You have to have a completely super organised house – otherwise all your friends will have to go out to dinner cos otherwise it’ll be too shameful to have them over

F) There is a gadget for everything and if you dare go outside without the latest kindle then don’t even dare leaving the house again

G) Don’t enjoy being pregnant and expecting your first child just feel the ‘pressure’ of doing everything right – don’t forget if you eat sandwich meat your baby will die…

H) Don’t yell at children ever – cos their self esteem will be shattered and if you can’t yell then don’t slap either…

I) If you’re not married when you decide to have children then forget it everyone will ‘out’ you

J) Replace all lollies with carrot sticks cos clearly we can’t enjoy food anymore

K) On the topic of food if it’s not organic then don’t buy it – cos you’re just going to get glared get at by the check-out chick

L) Refuse, Reuse, Recycle – everything or else!

M) Safe the world. If you don’t donate to 100 causes a week then really you shouldn’t be allowed to live

N) You got your coffee from where? No don’t go there, the person doesn’t use the foam to make sure it’s presented with a pretty bird on a tree branch on top and the barista doesn’t make the milk hot enough so it burns your toung…

O) I buy all my clothes, gifts, etc online, plus get all my food and essentials home delivered, plus I just don’t leave the house because I don’t have anytime yet I’m sitting here on my computer blogging about how I don’t have time… and really this sentence is taking all my time… where has all the time gone

P) I can’t call  my friends anymore let alone see them because of my busy lifestyle

Q) I have a Nintendo Wii to do yoga and play tennis because really any sort of exercise done outdoors I can’t stand and doesn’t fit in with my life…cos it’s just so hectic

R) and continuing with this topic – the other day I had to look up this great word – Relax when my friend told me I should do it more often… I thought sounds great – but really where can I fit it in

S) As a teacher I have to remember to say chalkboard, not to sing baa baa black sheep, to talk to all the parents as though their children are angels and gifted, to make sure I never show my students that I’m human , etc – but do I also need to say interactive felt-tip pen board… should I have a melt-down now to get it over and done with – because clearly it’s inevitable…

T) When I become a mother I’ll have to hire a nanny, casual babysitter, night nurse, etc and only talk to them when they really need to…because all those activities that they’ll have to go to I just won’t be able to take them to… plus simply reading them a story is just too much of a hassle

U) Where are all my hair and beauty essentials… I may only be going to buy milk…but seriously you never know who you’ll bump into… oh my gosh here comes another melt-down…

V) Did I tell you about Facebook, blogger, tumblr, you tube, pinterest, this site that I’m on now, twitter, google plus and whatever else I’ve used to divulge everything about my personal life on? I mean seriously if you don’t go look at one those pages, then the photos from the latest party/wedding/christening/house-warming/gig/*insert event here* that I went to – or the video footage of my child’s birth will not be shown to you because I’m a private person and don’t really want people to see those things…but seriously you probably don’t want to see all the details anyway. 😉

W) Did you watch the latest of junior masterchef? Since when do children know how to not just make cupcakes or cookies with icing on top – but things that I don’t even know how to pronounce

X) When you do find the time to catch up with friends, don’t forget to document the entire outing on Facebook via your phone so that everyone can know what you’re up to – heaven forbid you actually talk to your friend

Y) If you dare let any of my children near dirt then I’ll blame you when they they’re allergic to everything… oh and please make sure you use the detol soap dispenser that you don’t actually touch…

Z) School, Uni, Career, Marriage, Kids, there is no other way to life really and if you don’t live by this standard then clearly you don’t have a life and if you turn up to your kids graduation at the age of anywhere between 40-50 then really you were far to young to be having children because really we’re not allowed to have kids until 35 and no younger because before then is just too young. My mother was 25 when she had my brother – what do you say to that?

HA HA HA HA HA HA I am evil.

Ok – so just a heads up – most of these ‘complaints’ are me joking and I’m not really being serious. But I do think that we all need to relax including myself. Your life is your life it shouldn’t be mapped out according to what other people say and you should just live it the way you wish.

Even if you do, do the things on this list – it’s ok.

Can we stop judging and criticising people because clearly by the fact that I came up with about 26 ideas on how people ‘should’ live their lives – is a statement in itself…

I’m sick of reading articles titled with “The pressures of pregnancy” “How to decorate your child’s room” “We all seem to have allergies or food intolerance” “There are women as young as 20 deciding to get a sperm donation – what a shock” “Baa baa black sheep banned from childcare centres” or watching ads that are advertising these products that allow children to learn how to read before they get to school…

I see parents on the streets negotiating with their children about their behaviour – what happened to “Come here NOW!” or a slap on a wrist – I don’t agree with bashing your children or making out like their bad people… but I got yelled at or had small hits on my wrist  and usually it was because I was crossing the road without mum or about to touch the stove… and I’ve turned out to be a pretty normal and genuinely good person…

Lesson of the day:

Chill out!!! It’s ok if your apple came from the supermarket and you gave your child a lolly snake.

Language development is important before a child gets to kindergarten/school but we have teachers for a reason.

Signing out as I’m about to spend time with my mother and brother whom I love very much!

If you could write to the world – what would you say?

I wrote another poem and posted it on my other blog- which I wanted to leave just for poems. It’s title is “I want to write to world and say:”

When I was writing it I was thinking about stars and how powerful they are. They are beautiful, people wish upon them as though they hold some great power, we sometimes look up at them and think about our dreams, etc…

But is it realistic for us to do this, when they are so far away? They are bigger than just tiny dots too – it’s really pretty hard to imagine how big they are, etc…

Then somehow I started writing about flowers – and how maybe we should turn to them, because really we are more like them than stars if you think about it… right? But then again people don’t really look at stars and think – Oh I wish I could be one… unless you’re thinking about celebrities and if you think about it, most of that is all fake or hyped up by press and the public that get caught into it.

I guess really what I was thinking of is that no matter who we are and what we are doing with our lives or even where we come from… our goals, dreams, wishes are all reachable and we will figure out who we are in our own time.

The flower part of the poem is about being able to see where we can grow and where we can go with personal growth and that, that growth is forever continuous.

We shouldn’t rely on what we see in the stars to get us to where we want to be. We don’t need a time-line to do things in. We certainly need to stop worrying about what others are doing and where they are at, because we are all different and we just need to relax.

If we all saw happiness in a wish upon a star then personal growth wouldn’t occur because we would just sit around and wait for that wish to come true…that’s not really that helpful…

Right now, I wish I could articulate what I was saying much better than I am, but I can’t and have to accept that I’m just having one of those days…

Goodness, I slept through my alarm and missed uni (ah shock to system!! LOL) and instead did a huge load of washing… watched a couple of episodes of Gilmore Girls Season 1…I’ve decided that it’s inevitable that I will watch Gilmore Girls annually – no matter how I avoid it as I have seen it almost  too much for one person to ever see of a tv show… I watched YouTube videos, have been grazing all day, been sorting my homework so it’s easier to do, read emails… looked at etsy…looked at my room as a job for another day and have now decided to do some writing.

A) To get it out of my system

B) because if I don’t then I will cry instead…

I am NOT sitting here feeling miserable or anything… but it’s just this day – maybe yesterday leaked into today and tried to take it over…

cos yesterday was horribly boring, dull and oh-so draining…

yesterday my problems were not so far away but as close as the keyboard is to my fingers…

I felt like my dreams and hopes for the future of teaching was taken in an instant in these poor little preps and grade ones and what was put upon them

Reading and writing ALL day and all because their normal teacher was away on camp and they were given a reading recovering lady…

My first impression of her was seen through her facial expression of sheer drudgery and disdain

Her: Are you a student?

Me: Yes

Her: umph! (cranky facial expression that was absorbed through-out the room and the day yet to come)

Her: Oh ok… what year are you?

Me: Fourth (said with a smile)

Her: Oh good! (As she gave a wicked witch’s gleam…)

Her: Did you have anything prepared for today, cos I don’t mind if you have things you need to do

Me: No, I’m normally with the grade 5/6s

Her: Oh then you can just chill then because I was going to do lots of writing and reading in the morning then think of something for the afternoon…

Me: Ok, I’m happy with whatever you ask me to do (BIG mistake)

– conversation continued like this for a little while… then the bell rang…

She snapped through the morning as those poor kids just sat there and there I was doing nothing (well roaming and small group stuff…)

But I’m a fourth year student! I should be given challenges – put me on the spot, throw me in the deep end – that’s what I’m here for – otherwise next year I will sink, like someone has never been sunk before…

By the afternoon I was ecstatic and jumping up and down (inside) because of how happy I was …
I rushed off to meet mum at her work a usual thing I do on my way home from placement… and vented my frustrations with hot chocolate in hand…

We talked about a whole lot of other stuff and was relieved to go home

had an early night and slept like I never slept before

and now we are up to today…

The day was actually brilliant but gave me time to really think… perfect for my assignment that is due tomorrow as it’s a  reflection writing piece, but not so good for my mind as it’s now full of thoughts that aren’t escaping…

The point though is though – what do we want for the world?

Apart from a better environment and for everyone to have access to clean water – etc, the list is endless…

What do we want: really?

Do we want to simply be happy? To have love? To make babies? To be able to eat great food? To explore where we all come from?

To experience personal growth?

Just to live?

To be alive, sounds pretty good to me… I have a friend who doesn’t want to turn 30 – to avoid her birthday as though it can’t happen… but then I have a friend who didn’t make it to 21 and an uncle who is on his way to 60 (he has a few years yet…) – who said to me around the time of his last birthday when I asked if it was a good one?

That every birthday is a good one because it’s another year that I’m alive

Can we ask of the world to simply just be alive? Or is that too big of a question…

What is it that we should ask?

To love one another – where is this love, is it possible to find for everyone…

I know what I’m asking is huge but I guess that’s what I’m saying in the poem. It’s a huge idea to look up at the stars and to think that, that they hold all the answers and that one wish when wish upon them will surely come true and change our lives forever.

Lesson of today:

We need to ponder these questions not so we then try to solve all world problems but to ask it of ourselves and we what we want.

Also write down your thoughts so that they have somewhere to go.

Signing off so that I can eat dinner and finish that assignment that’s due tomorrow!

Link to poem and other blog – if you are interested in reading:

http://songbirdwriting.blogspot.com.au/

 

Film Review: To Sir, With Love

This afternoon as I decided to turn on the T.V I came across the film: To Sir, With Love and I knew about it but and hadn’t ever seen it…

When Mum and I decided to watch “The Audrey Hepburn Story” with Jennifer Love Hewitt – which came out about 10 years ago, it started my mission to watch Audrey Hepburn movies – because even though it someone else posing as her – I felt that I must see her films… The first was Roman Holiday and from then on I was hooked…

One day from the video shop (yes I know techniquely they’re dvds…) Mum brought home a bunch of films all in black and white and all woderful…

Films just aren’t the same today – no matter what anyone else says and yes they have advanced in other ways, but honestly I don’t really want to spend $2 on a pair of plastic glasses that allows me to see “It flying right into your face!!!” (Besides that technology isn’t really that new anyway…)

I want to see it for the people in the story, a story that we can relate to, acting that makes me believe, cinematography that takes into the story, etc…

I really don’t care if the leaves falling from the sky feel as though they’re about to land on my face!

Plus actors that can really act…

Like Sidney Poitier who stars in “To Sir, With Love” although it may not be in black in white it still comes under my classification of ‘old films’…

His character is a hopeful engineer who in the meantime takes up a job as a teacher. The students that he teaches are rough and rebellious and his challenge is to get through them on any level – not just to teach…

He decides to first create strict rules in his classroom that gives them their first lesson in respect and what follows is a series of lesson on the subject of ‘life’ as he puts it.

Women’s rights and race issues come to the surface in his classroom – even when this image of ‘family’ has been created.

Throughout the film his character is put to the choice of becoming an engineer or choosing his classroom…

The way that this teacher is depicted by Sidney Poitier allows you to believe that what is one screen is actually real-life and we are soon swept up into what is wonderful about Mr. Poitier – he is truly magnificent… and the story is powerful and up-lifting…

The students in the classroom have had their lives changed and we start to feel their emotion… shown through the scene where they get to the museum – Poitier walks into a classroom of completely silent and tearful students and in this moment you realise the impact of this teacher…simply because they get to go to a museum.

I’ve been going to museums, art galleries, the zoo, etc for as long as I remember, these kids don’t have the time or the resources to do so, plus most the teachers before hand never would have taken them there and now here was someone willing to do so. He trusted these kids because he wanted to enrich their lives.

Being the 60s too – there were so many things e.g women expected to do all the house-work that has now changed most likely because of these people… he was also trying to show them that their lives weren’t limited to the stereotyped boxes they were placed in

In another scene they were being taught how to make a salad and one of the kids exclaimed “ah but that’s women’s work”, Poitier responded simply by noting that in a short time they would be out in the world and would have to know how to survive and that making this salad would save them even when they were poorer than poor. The students were completely immersed into the lesson and soon learnt how to make salad while forgetting who’s ‘job’ it was…

There is another scene which breaks through what gossip can do to do people when it concerns their reputation – but for those who haven’t seen it I won’t give it away. The point is, these students learn these most amazing lessons – which aren’t to do with what’s placed in a textbook and come out of it so grateful and genuinely good people which is amazing…

All this film has done is taken away hype and shown people what is a believable story which we the viewers might find teary but evidently up-lifting!

I rate this 8 apples out 10

(it’s about a teacher and I’m doing teaching so I’m going to be corny and rate out of apples)

The best bit was that I didn’t consider it procrastination because it’s about teaching – yeah I’m trying to justify why I wasn’t doing my homework, when I have a bucket load… 😉

If you haven’t seen a Sidney Poitier film, then you need to add it to your list:

Other films he is in and are recommended Raisin in the Sun and Guess Who is Coming to Dinner-

Don’t forget films with Audrey Hepburn, Katharine Hepburn, Gregory Peck, Cary Grant, Fred Astaire, Humphrey Bogart, Lauren Bacall, Natalie Wood, Sophia Loren and the list is never-ending really…

Watch older films – you won’t regret it!

Or if you don’t get much of a chance to rent DVDs then at least:

  • Casablanca
  • Breakfast at Tiffany’s
  • House Boat
  • To Kill A Mockingbird…
  • Anything else that is worthy… 😛

No – just start taking the train to work/school/uni because with the technology we have today we can watch films while travelling… we need to find the time to watch films, read books and enjoy food… not eat cos you eat to survive…like when you eat a nut-bar during a lecture that is draining your life – that’s possibly boredom too though…

Also not what I’m writing about….

Lesson of today:

Films are worth the time it takes to watch them especially when they’re good… where you learn something from them and continue to talk about them for years to come… I told Mum that I watched this – she said “oh that’s such a great film, did you like it… it’s something you’d love!”

Sing a long to the song that is played throughout and at the end – it really helps you feel like you’re in the story.

Signing off so I can finish my cocoa and marshmallows before hitting the hay!

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