“The greatest sweetner of human life is friendship” Unknown Author

This post is dedicated to my friend who will be remembered tomorrow on her birthday.

Happy Birthday to my AWESOME friend,

You may not be with us anymore but the gift of who you are, most certainly is.

Lots of love, light and laughter,

Emma xoxo

Love:

To me love is forever. It doesn’t go away because that person is longer here.

We remember them for they are forever in our hearts.

Light:

There is always light where there is darkness.

Sometimes we feel we will never find light again, because we are lost through our

dark thoughts… but it’s because we live on in hope that we know it’s there no matter what.

Laughter:

In honor of the truest cliche I know – laughter is the best medicine!

It can pick you up even when you are feeling your most down.

It’s even better when shared!

Here is to friendship and to a true friend whom I still love and always remember.

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I have writer’s block!!!

I have the urge to write but don’t know what to write. This is a rare occurence for me. A rare occurence indeed. Ususally I can write at any time even if it’s about the most mundane things… But this evening as I decided it was about time to write again – anything, just anything to get me going – I thought but I have nothing that I want to write about…

So instead I’m going to try this thing called a ‘stream of  consciousness’ or a continuous flow of thoughts in writing whereby I write all my thoughts as I think them… goodness I hope this isn’t over sharing

Here we go: 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3,2, 1…

What am I afraid of? I’m listening in my mind to this song about someone being afraid of something to do with love but what is that I’m afraid of? Obviously I’m listening to this song because I can in some way I relate to it but I’ve never been in love so am I afraid of it? But I have had a broken heart just not in the traditional sense of it… my eyes are drooping so really I should sleep but I know as soon as I climb into bed it’s not going to happen that’s all I want to write  now… sleep gosh there is a part of me that wishes I wasn’t on holidays…

The sound of my fingers typing is a soothing sound that I like because it means that I’m writing something that’s just for me something that no one has to like it’s just for me just for me that’s what I like best about this typing though is very different to holding a pen or a pencil I feel as though somehow handwriting is nicer than typing…goodness I’m so old-fashioned why am I so old-fashioned?

If you look at my hair you wouldn’t think it was old-fashioned or the act of shaving it off maybe I’m partly old-fashioned and partly not… I miss you, you know… here I am getting that sinking feeling again of missing a person you love wait love in its traditional form isn’t all about the love between man and woman or woman and woman or man and man love can be friend and friend pet and owner etc but come on I am human I want the other kind…

Gosh people could be reading this soon what if I just deleted this entire post. Emma keep your eyes open. No. Go to bed. No awake. Awake is where you’ll be when you feel like this…

I am strong I know it other people know it and if I cry it’s not a sign of weakness it’s not it’s just not…hmmm why not have a sip of hot chocolate with almond milk yes that’s right I spent more than any normal person should on one litre of milk just so I knew what it bloody well tasted like and crap it had to taste so bloody good that I’ll buy it again why just why food for me has become an expense I mean I know I don’t need almond milk but in so many gluten-free recipes they use almond and rice milk so I thought oh what’s the harm in trying this milk it’s meant to be good for you so why bloody not the only problem is because I also didn’t want the milk loaded with sugar I got the bloody organic one I want so much to be healthy so I don’t have to go to fing hospital but I also don’t want to be poor why make people who have fing coeliac disease pay for it out of their hard-earned money why… so back to that crying thing yeah it’s happened

oh good it’s stopped sigh deep breath sigh and deep breath

ok I’m ok

19 days till I fly to Darwin why did I sign up for swirl I mean I know why but now I’m scared I’m excited but lets face it if I was lying I’d be saying I’m so excited and so honoured to be given this opportunity blah w****r is what I would call myself if I said that because it’s not true I mean the teaching thing the story telling thing great the bloody remote thing what was I thinking oh yeah I wanted the challenge crap I have to eat gluten-free food what was I thinking…oh this is stupid I’ll be fine no seriously ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ok need to change my thoughts to something different.

Saw “Annie” today it was so fantastic and being able to see it with a great friend made it all the worth while and leaving the theatre we saw a wedding party who gets married in winter idiots. oh there would have been many reasons but seriously idiots.

ok I need to stop this otherwise the whole world if the whole world is reading will know my inner most thoughts and I don’t want that…

 

Activity complete. Back to normal:

It’s always good to write like that once in a while and it got me out of my writer’s block.

If there are readers of this post please don’t take my thoughts too seriously they were literally in the moment I didn’t plan what I was writing they came to me at the moment – also I’m tired so any worry or concern or even a positive emotion has been heightened by 1,000… plus the last time I did this I was in a state of joy and there were very different results I can tell you.

Lesson of today (to writers):

Writing all your thoughts like this can be a great way to ‘unleash’ anything that needs to be taken out of your mind to you free you up and write and also you might be surprised in what you come up with – some great story could come out of it!

*note* I read over what I wrote in the end for spelling and grammar in no way though did I delete anything that I wrote – that would defeat the purpose.

 

 

You’re everywhere to me

Image

(http://abscenes.wordpress.com/tag/andrew-brown-landscape-photography/)

BY THE BOAB TREE – LYRICS:

Sing and I will hear you
No matter where you are
A song to light the darkest night
And guide me from afar

And I will never be alone
Now I know you’re somewhere
You’re everywhere to me
You’re the colour in the sky
A reason to believe
And when the rain falls down
You tell a story
And I will hear you
Always near you
By the boab tree

Lay your arms around me
Like the falling rain
Let the feeling drown me
And life begins again

And I will never be afraid
Now I know you’re somewhere
You’re everywhere to me
The warming of the sun upon
The earth beneath my feet
And when the rain falls down
You tell a story
And I will hear you
Always near you
By the boab tree

Oh you are somewhere
You’re everywhere to me
You’re the colour in the sky
And you’re the earth beneath my feet
And when the rain falls down
You tell a story
And I will hear you
Always near you
By the boab tree

I listen to this song whenever I need reminding that even when loved ones have left this earth – they are still here in some way or another. A week from today two years ago I lost a dear friend – in fact there were many of us that lost that person. I know though – that there is one thing for sure, her love was never lost and never will be…

I’m writing this now because I know that next week it will be harder to do so…

Dearest Amelia,

You’re everywhere to me
You’re the colour in the sky
A reason to believe
And when the rain falls down
You tell a story
And I will hear you
Always near you…

Forever and always you are in my heart.

Ems xoxoxo

I wrote a poem inspired by the song and of the love for my friend…

Called Love and Allhttp://songbirdwriting.blogspot.com.au/2012/06/love-and-all.html (found here)

A picture says a thousand words

I thought that I would get in early because tomorrow morning I’m doing the Mother’s Day Classic…. but…

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY – to my mum first of all

and to anyone else who is a mother.

All the best,

Emma 🙂

Don’t worry about the things you can’t change.

I was told this back in 2006, when I was in year 11. I was 17 which felt old because by the December of that year I would be 18, which meant adulthood. Responsibility and having to lead your life came with adulthood. I was afraid to be pushed right into it as though I was to become an instant adult.

How can someone be an adult when they are still at school? Amongst other things. Two years later it was 2008 I was approaching 20 and still felt the same. The worries that I had then have completely changed. I know now, there is no such thing as instant anything – especially adulthood…maybe that’s why you’re still working on it by the time you turn 60 and get the label “senior”.

Plus I am no longer caught up in other people’s lives in the same way I was back then, I can see the difference between being worried about others and seeing what they are going through and simply being there for them.

Right now though at midnight on a Wednesday night or Thursday morning, whichever way you look at it. I’m worried or concerned or something a rather.

It’s about something I can’t change or do something about but desperately want to. I hate not having the power to help those I love whether friends or family.

In this case it’s a friend. Who might even read this post…maybe it’s a way to reach out to this person without me really thinking – that, that is what I’m doing.

My point is I know when thinking about this more realistically and clearly that I have to relax, take my mind off it so that I can sleep…

I know I can’t change the situation. The whole point of not worrying about the things you can’t change is to see that unless you actually have the power to change something that it’s not going to change and you have to accept it so you can live your life.

Like me getting my driver’s licence. As much as friends and family have been bugging me to do something about it they can’t actually get it for me.

I am in fact doing something about it, I’ve had a few things get in the way but now is the time.

Today I had a driving lesson and I’m telling you – scary as anything, I was so nervous that I had to sit for an hour before before the lesson so that I could calm myself down. I haven’t driven for a year which I know is bad but it was because I was sick last year and needed to focus on getting better…anyhoo…it was raining for most of the day and i thought – oh great, rain on my first driving lesson in a year…great.

By the time my instructor got to my house, it had stopped raining…as soon as I got into his car, things were clicking like never before. I was finally using the steering wheel properly because I was actually taught how and got to the stage where head checks felt normal.

I think this time it will actually happen. Especially because I’m doing something about it. A change I have control of – when it’s something you know you do something about, you don’t worry because there is no need to. You have the power.

The power is gone and then you worry.

The logical thing to do is not to worry because if you can’t do anything about it then you need to let it run it’s course so the change happens.

Eyes are now drooping…this right here is one of the reasons why I write.

No lesson of the day – it’s in the title.

Sleep tight to all if you haven’t quite made it there…signing off…

Dear Mum:

Ok It’s roughly a month to mother’s day but I was inspired today after a phone call I had with my mother – she has given me everything now all I need to do and so does she is to let go a little so we can our lives a little bit more separately from each other, it’s not say we won’t spend time together… but anyway here it is… now when it comes to mother’s day, I may not have much to say… but I’m sure I’ll think of something:

Dear Mum:

The love that I have for you is a given for you are my mother. It is unconditional, cannot be touched or taken away, I will never feel this love for others as it is unique and therefore forever and always.  My love for you will always hold strong even when we fall or see tough times, no matter how much we argue, are angry at each other or even when we laugh in each other’s company. A love between mother and child or child and mother is like no other – even if that is a cliché it is true.  The point of this message though is not to say that I love you, because we know that we love each other – even if we don’t say it.

It’s to say that I admire you. I admire you for raising Tom and I as a single parent. I admire you for being a midwife and lactation consultant and working your butt off for years – and still managing to do so. I admire you for your strength as a person and mother.

I admire you for not succumbing to outside pressure to be a different person to who you are; including the “uniform” which you wear all the time – it shows perfect effortless style and comfort, even if it’s not me… you are still who you are.

You have shown me what it is to be yourself, to be a working mother, to be caring and loving, to be wacky, crazy, and quirky all in one package and for showing me the ropes of life. I know what I know from you; your warmth, your honesty, zest for life and all your life lessons – some of which are learnt from what not to do but at least you have taught me that making mistakes is ok.

We have so many laughs together, I love spending time with you – which I know most people don’t understand, but that’s ok because I would prefer that then to have it any other way…

Thanks for being there for me; I don’t say it enough…

Love Ems xoxoxxoxoxoxoxo

Lessons learnt by my mother:

  • Don’t put your eggs in one basket
  • Things always find a way of working out
  • To always do right by others. If you say you’ll be committed to something, then stick with it.
  • You can’t sit around and be miserable for ever, sometimes if you go for a walk, things will start to look better.

Just a short, quick post – as this came to mind today…

Film Review: To Sir, With Love

This afternoon as I decided to turn on the T.V I came across the film: To Sir, With Love and I knew about it but and hadn’t ever seen it…

When Mum and I decided to watch “The Audrey Hepburn Story” with Jennifer Love Hewitt – which came out about 10 years ago, it started my mission to watch Audrey Hepburn movies – because even though it someone else posing as her – I felt that I must see her films… The first was Roman Holiday and from then on I was hooked…

One day from the video shop (yes I know techniquely they’re dvds…) Mum brought home a bunch of films all in black and white and all woderful…

Films just aren’t the same today – no matter what anyone else says and yes they have advanced in other ways, but honestly I don’t really want to spend $2 on a pair of plastic glasses that allows me to see “It flying right into your face!!!” (Besides that technology isn’t really that new anyway…)

I want to see it for the people in the story, a story that we can relate to, acting that makes me believe, cinematography that takes into the story, etc…

I really don’t care if the leaves falling from the sky feel as though they’re about to land on my face!

Plus actors that can really act…

Like Sidney Poitier who stars in “To Sir, With Love” although it may not be in black in white it still comes under my classification of ‘old films’…

His character is a hopeful engineer who in the meantime takes up a job as a teacher. The students that he teaches are rough and rebellious and his challenge is to get through them on any level – not just to teach…

He decides to first create strict rules in his classroom that gives them their first lesson in respect and what follows is a series of lesson on the subject of ‘life’ as he puts it.

Women’s rights and race issues come to the surface in his classroom – even when this image of ‘family’ has been created.

Throughout the film his character is put to the choice of becoming an engineer or choosing his classroom…

The way that this teacher is depicted by Sidney Poitier allows you to believe that what is one screen is actually real-life and we are soon swept up into what is wonderful about Mr. Poitier – he is truly magnificent… and the story is powerful and up-lifting…

The students in the classroom have had their lives changed and we start to feel their emotion… shown through the scene where they get to the museum – Poitier walks into a classroom of completely silent and tearful students and in this moment you realise the impact of this teacher…simply because they get to go to a museum.

I’ve been going to museums, art galleries, the zoo, etc for as long as I remember, these kids don’t have the time or the resources to do so, plus most the teachers before hand never would have taken them there and now here was someone willing to do so. He trusted these kids because he wanted to enrich their lives.

Being the 60s too – there were so many things e.g women expected to do all the house-work that has now changed most likely because of these people… he was also trying to show them that their lives weren’t limited to the stereotyped boxes they were placed in

In another scene they were being taught how to make a salad and one of the kids exclaimed “ah but that’s women’s work”, Poitier responded simply by noting that in a short time they would be out in the world and would have to know how to survive and that making this salad would save them even when they were poorer than poor. The students were completely immersed into the lesson and soon learnt how to make salad while forgetting who’s ‘job’ it was…

There is another scene which breaks through what gossip can do to do people when it concerns their reputation – but for those who haven’t seen it I won’t give it away. The point is, these students learn these most amazing lessons – which aren’t to do with what’s placed in a textbook and come out of it so grateful and genuinely good people which is amazing…

All this film has done is taken away hype and shown people what is a believable story which we the viewers might find teary but evidently up-lifting!

I rate this 8 apples out 10

(it’s about a teacher and I’m doing teaching so I’m going to be corny and rate out of apples)

The best bit was that I didn’t consider it procrastination because it’s about teaching – yeah I’m trying to justify why I wasn’t doing my homework, when I have a bucket load… 😉

If you haven’t seen a Sidney Poitier film, then you need to add it to your list:

Other films he is in and are recommended Raisin in the Sun and Guess Who is Coming to Dinner-

Don’t forget films with Audrey Hepburn, Katharine Hepburn, Gregory Peck, Cary Grant, Fred Astaire, Humphrey Bogart, Lauren Bacall, Natalie Wood, Sophia Loren and the list is never-ending really…

Watch older films – you won’t regret it!

Or if you don’t get much of a chance to rent DVDs then at least:

  • Casablanca
  • Breakfast at Tiffany’s
  • House Boat
  • To Kill A Mockingbird…
  • Anything else that is worthy… 😛

No – just start taking the train to work/school/uni because with the technology we have today we can watch films while travelling… we need to find the time to watch films, read books and enjoy food… not eat cos you eat to survive…like when you eat a nut-bar during a lecture that is draining your life – that’s possibly boredom too though…

Also not what I’m writing about….

Lesson of today:

Films are worth the time it takes to watch them especially when they’re good… where you learn something from them and continue to talk about them for years to come… I told Mum that I watched this – she said “oh that’s such a great film, did you like it… it’s something you’d love!”

Sing a long to the song that is played throughout and at the end – it really helps you feel like you’re in the story.

Signing off so I can finish my cocoa and marshmallows before hitting the hay!

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