Don’t worry about the things you can’t change.

I was told this back in 2006, when I was in year 11. I was 17 which felt old because by the December of that year I would be 18, which meant adulthood. Responsibility and having to lead your life came with adulthood. I was afraid to be pushed right into it as though I was to become an instant adult.

How can someone be an adult when they are still at school? Amongst other things. Two years later it was 2008 I was approaching 20 and still felt the same. The worries that I had then have completely changed. I know now, there is no such thing as instant anything – especially adulthood…maybe that’s why you’re still working on it by the time you turn 60 and get the label “senior”.

Plus I am no longer caught up in other people’s lives in the same way I was back then, I can see the difference between being worried about others and seeing what they are going through and simply being there for them.

Right now though at midnight on a Wednesday night or Thursday morning, whichever way you look at it. I’m worried or concerned or something a rather.

It’s about something I can’t change or do something about but desperately want to. I hate not having the power to help those I love whether friends or family.

In this case it’s a friend. Who might even read this post…maybe it’s a way to reach out to this person without me really thinking – that, that is what I’m doing.

My point is I know when thinking about this more realistically and clearly that I have to relax, take my mind off it so that I can sleep…

I know I can’t change the situation. The whole point of not worrying about the things you can’t change is to see that unless you actually have the power to change something that it’s not going to change and you have to accept it so you can live your life.

Like me getting my driver’s licence. As much as friends and family have been bugging me to do something about it they can’t actually get it for me.

I am in fact doing something about it, I’ve had a few things get in the way but now is the time.

Today I had a driving lesson and I’m telling you – scary as anything, I was so nervous that I had to sit for an hour before before the lesson so that I could calm myself down. I haven’t driven for a year which I know is bad but it was because I was sick last year and needed to focus on getting better…anyhoo…it was raining for most of the day and i thought – oh great, rain on my first driving lesson in a year…great.

By the time my instructor got to my house, it had stopped raining…as soon as I got into his car, things were clicking like never before. I was finally using the steering wheel properly because I was actually taught how and got to the stage where head checks felt normal.

I think this time it will actually happen. Especially because I’m doing something about it. A change I have control of – when it’s something you know you do something about, you don’t worry because there is no need to. You have the power.

The power is gone and then you worry.

The logical thing to do is not to worry because if you can’t do anything about it then you need to let it run it’s course so the change happens.

Eyes are now drooping…this right here is one of the reasons why I write.

No lesson of the day – it’s in the title.

Sleep tight to all if you haven’t quite made it there…signing off…

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My Sunday arvo thoughts…

I was going to write a big post on the thoughts of smokers smoking in my face and how through a busy week you can discover how determination can get you through.

But I just want to talk about today. I haven’t achieved anything of greatness, I’ve just been enjoying the company of an Offspring on DVD and thoughts about the end of the year.

I’m sitting here realising that I haven’t posted all week and just needed to…

I think that I might just write about whatever comes out of my end and keep writing until I no longer can or need to go to the toilet whichever comes first…

The future is creeping up faster than I ever thought it would which started with an offer from last Tuesday and ended with the fact that I’m going to the Northern Territory in July.

I am going to have decide on things very soon which is exciting but also daunting. It’s also not like finishing year 12 but at the same time is…

Lets go back to finishing school…

I had some idea of what I wanted to do but knew that once I got to uni it would all come together, I took a year off and had a few adventures on my own and with my mum…

Started uni at 20 which felt old at the time… boy has that changed and was completely anxious of the whole thing – I remember my first edu lecturer all characteristics, personality and teaching style to this day and to this point of even sometimes feeling like she is still teaching me… she was the only lecturer who I have actually had some resemblance of closeness too unlike at school where every teacher at the end almost felt like a best friend..

I know it’s sickening how friendly I was with my teachers but most them changed my life even if it wasn’t because of good reasons they did…

But starting uni was like this scary thing, most classes I felt nervous in even if all I did was sit there and listen…now I feel like if i was put on the spot to take over that I could – it’s in the complete reverse almost….

Goodness I really am a rambler and get it from my mum…

I’ve gotten everything from my mum – almost… some things like my sensibility and calmness I get from dad… but the nuttyness and being able to ‘rant and rave’ I get from mum…

goodness I need food and toilet break…

 

back from eating some curry which was a little bit spicy but o-so-tasty

 

It’s good to know that my house-mates are doing much the same with their Sunday arvo = watching T.V that is and eating…

I guess that’s what they’re for – right… the classic Sunday that I didn’t get at the start of Semester because I was running around doing everything else… I’m now receiving and also feel blessed that I can just enjoy

even if I have home work to do…

This is much better!

I had such a good day yesterday with a great friend of mine from school which included retail therapy, food and gossip…or some might say a good bit of ‘nothing’ but with a good friend that feels like everything…

You know friendship is truly important…

I have friends from school and uni  and just randoms I picked off the street…and some have become pretty close which is great…

then same with family…

it all comes with emotional attachment and photos

photos are wonderful – but still sometimes sad to look at…

being emotional can make you want a lot of things… and do anything to get there

Nina from Offspring points that she’s too sensible that all she does is write lists that never get there…ahhhh so do I – I have this never-ending to do list that keeps going without seeing any signs of ending… goodness… I’ve got stop saying goodness.

Are we never happy if we keep adding to the list?

On my list: (OF my life)

-finish uni

-finish reading Harry Potter for the second time

-find a job

-decide on where to live next year

– help those I love

-travel and see places I haven’t yet before – with friends, by myself and with family…

– take a break after teaching for a few years or so…

– decide on if teaching will be my only job…

– find new love

– have a baby or two or three

-find where to raise family

– include family and friends in on my family

-keep in contact with everyone I love

-try to be happy

– keep being me

It’s a short list but it has huge things on it – some short-term, some long-term, some I can’t really think about now and all things that need other things to happen first before i get there which basically means that I could always be making lists…

and who for?

For me? These are all things I want but they all include other people and all take smaller steps to get there… in fact I have stuff that still needs to happen today before I get to tomorrow… even if that’s as simple as going to the super-market…

plus all the emotional stuff that can happen in between…

life isn’t a time-line…

BUT why is it a list?

Lesson of the day:

write lists if you need to, but remember that if not everything gets done then they aren’t going to stop you from living your life, they’re just going to put a “spanner in the works”

Enjoy Sunday because if you don’t you could be a wreck by the start of the week… which no one wants…

Signing off so I can go back to Offspring! 🙂

 

 

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