She did not get “Friends” straight away.

As I think about the past year and being persistent with pursuing my teaching career. I think about how positive thinking has taken on many forms. It has not always come easy. In fact to think positively is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. It is not natural when you are feeling down, frustrated, angry and disappointed in life to change those thoughts into something positive. But if you don’t life inevitably becomes almost impossible to live. 

Difficult life situations although hidden by being hard to deal with can actually become things that are good in life. Because we learn from them. I know one day I will look back on today. I will look back on the time that I am in now trying to figure it all out and I will think about how far I have come. I know this to be true because I have already experienced this feeling. I have already reflected on life events that happened once upon a time. Knowing this to be true is one of the many reasons why I keep going.

I am happy for those people who got teaching jobs last year and thanks to social media I have become aware of roughly how many but also roughly how many who didn’t. Some of these people who went on to get jobs have also been complaining about the work load. It is a double edged sword to achieve what you want. To those people who have full time teaching jobs, I urge you to not complain. Because out of thousands of graduates you were chosen. You were hired as a teacher. Instead maybe you think of your peers who don’t have teaching work. How would you feel if you were them?

On the other side of happiness there comes a little bit of sadness. For those graduates who are still searching. Some of these people are not just searching for teaching roles. They are trying to still live lives despite not having what they worked so very hard for. Yet they are still going. Because they think about how great it is going to be when they get there. I think although it has become harder for me and the thousands still looking we are the ones that will appreciate it more. 

Lisa Kudrow was the commencement speaker at the graduation ceremony for Vassar College in 2010. I watched her speech this morning via YouTube. She graduated from Vassa with a BA in Biology in 1985. She did not get her role as Phobe Buffay on “Friends” until 1994. She first had to make the decision to pursue a different career than what she studied in and then she had to overcome many obstacles before landing her first ‘real’ job. 

Two things that stood out from this speech for me is how she said that your 20s are a series of different crossroads and that after being fired from “Frasier”(another TV show…) she still managed to get up in the morning. That if she was able to simply get up each day, leave her apartment and still live her life. She was coping really well. “Friends” changed her life. It didn’t happen straight away. 

One day I will know of a similar feeling. My life will be changed somehow. It hasn’t happened just yet. But it will, I know it will. If you are someone who is still searching for this same feeling, for this same change…then that is ok because your ‘one day’ will happen, just you wait and see. 

Here is the link to Lisa’s speech. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uLkUoeMNeeY 

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Are we in fear of turning 25?

I’ve decided to join those who write about what it’s like to turn 25. I’m about 4 months off from doing so and I’m not in fear as though this age means I’m getting “old”… I’m actually really excited. It does mean that I will be a quarter of a century old… it does mean I’ll be half way to 50. I can no longer be considered “youth”…. young yes… totally and completely young.  Other people who I have known that have got to this age have said that it makes them feel old. I do not really understand that sorry. Even with a housemate of mine turning 30 and saying the same thing… It’s not old. 

Old to me is where you’re wrinkly all over, have grey hair, need help with getting on the bus and can no longer remember your grandkids. Before that we’re young. Even my mother whose age I will not reveal, to me is young. 

But why is old a “bad” thing anyway? Am I too young to be answering the question… most people would agree that I am. What do I know at my age about the woes and misery of life if I haven’t lived yet. I’m not at that “stage” of life where I can look back and say “In my day we used to walk 50 miles in knee deep snow just to get to the other side of the road…” 

I will disagree with those who believe this to be true. I have already lived. It’s 25 years. Yes it’s not as long as, 30, 40, 50 years, etc… but still… what do people think they have been doing for 25 years… sitting around and watching the days go by without a care in the world… I don’t think so… 

For those of you who know me and know me well, know that I have well and truly been affected by life.

I have learnt a lot from life. I have learnt that life comes with its ups and downs. I have learnt a lot about people. That we are all human trying to get along. I have learnt a lot about babies and children. That they need love, stability and a place where they can belong. 

I have learnt a lot from my friendships. Friends sometimes come and go… I will always remember who you are even if in years to come we do not see each other. I have learnt that family are not the people we choose to belong to but that I will always love them and stick by them – unconditionally. 

I have learnt that at 18 although legally I was an adult… that really I was sill a teenager and that I am still learning about what it is to be an adult and will probably still be learning about that at age 80, just like I know my grandparents are. I have learnt that the plan I had at age of five to be a teacher and a mother doesn’t necessarily have to be stuck to and that, that is ok. 

I have also learnt that finding love… is like looking for a needle in a haystack… 

To me I choose to enjoy getting older. Learning more from life. Getting what I want from this life that I have. Be grateful that I am alive to live it. Hopefully I will learn about what it is to “stress less”, to be a happy with what I have… not always wanting the new… staying healthy without the pressure of being “skinny”… travelling to other parts of Australia and the world that I haven’t seen… and to be open to every new challenge that comes my way.

Yay to turning 25! It’s going to be great. 🙂 

Signing off… time to face the music… 

 

 

Are we having the time of our lives?

I have stopped and thought about this post many times. What did I want to say? What will I end up writing? Will this have an effect on how people who know me in the outside world see me and who I am? I feel both apprehensive and positive about writing on this subject.

I want to share my thoughts, feelings and opinions about an Australian Drama called “The time of our lives”

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I remember wanting to write a post after watching the first episode. I noticed myself being very quick to judge and criticise the characters that we as the audience barely knew. It was only episode one! I thought ok… maybe I need to watch another episode before I start writing about it… However, as the weeks went on. I realised that I couldn’t work out how I felt or thought about these people. My secret favourite was Bernadette (Justine Clarke)… she had the clothes I liked, gorgeous twin girls, I loved her approach to “step-parenting”, she had a good job… she just had a warmth about her – there was an immediate liking to her.  My least favourite in the beginning was Caroline (Claudia Karvan)… a completely different person to Bernadette. I didn’t feel an instant liking to her… because I wasn’t sure about her parenting or choice in the name Carmody… I felt disconnected to her as a person. I started to see myself agree with her husband.

Now I wish that I could go back to that first episode and take back what I was thinking. I am generally speaking not that type of person. I like to see people for who they are. I like to see that we are all human beings, that we may have different lives, different ideas on how to live… that there is no “right” or “wrong” way of going about things.  I don’t look at people and judge them. It’s just not me. I don’t believe it is up to me to do so. What right do I have? Even with family and friends that I’ve known for years. It’s not my life. At the end of day they are the people who have to live their lives the way they choose to. Or in the case of this TV show… the way the writers decide their character’s lives.

With this in mind. I now see this show with very different eyes. I see all the characters, their struggles, their triumphs, their bad days, good days, the decisions they are making, how all of this affects them, the people around them and how their lives unfold. I can see the human side to all of them. I can see that the writers of this show have taken good care in giving us a broad picture of Australian life as it is today. There is no set path to everyone. I can see why some people will choose to relate to some of the characters more than others and I can understand why some will be liked more than others.

Bernadette will ‘secretly’ be my favourite in the show… Because to me she is just “totally awesome” and she reminds me of someone in my life… But I don’t think I have a least favourite or ever will…

At the end of the day it’s not really about that…

I am hooked on another great Australian Drama and lovin’ it!!

Are we having the time of our lives? I can only speak for myself… really.

Signing off… because there is a cat here in desperate need of my attention!

Happy Saturday 🙂

 

Children are simply great!

A child at school told me I had a fancy haircut. I decided to cut my hair back to a really short hair-do. I could not bare to wait for it to grow out anymore. That same child over-heard me singing – told me I should be famous when I grew up… When a different child pointed out I was already grown. She said that she meant when I was a mummy. When I decide to not wear make-up she says I look tired. When I do wear it she says I look nice.

Children are great. They can be honest and don’t hold back on what they think. My little sister would tell me my hair cut makes me look a boy. 

Some children are very sweet – they bring you handmade presents. They can brighten up your day or even your week. I had a child bring me something she made, it looked like she had put in so much effort. She brought it to me after only being in aftercare for a day. As she gave it to me she said “this is because I had such a great time in aftercare”. I gave her a big thank-you and told her she made my week – truthfuly told as that week hadn’t been very good for me … I think that I have enough homemade presents from kids that I could make a collage out of them.

Sometimes I believe they are in their own bubble.

In observing how they play I see them become animals of all sorts, mothers, fathers, babies, fairies, kings, queens, knights, pirates, etc. They give themselves funny names, they live in all sorts of places. A pile of leaves can be a carrot stew for their bunny (soft toy). That same pile of pile of leaves can be biscuits for their puppy. 🙂

The playground becomes a fortress, a castle, a home or an obstacle course. They can predict people’s future in a game of “MASH”. A game like many that has changed and evolved since I was a kid… that’s for sure. I love how they all think they invented the games too. They were the first ones to play them and they know all the rules.

I have children at my school who try and tell me how to do my job. Some who even start doing for it me.

It is an odd place to be – before and after school care. 5-12 year olds mixed together for either a morning or an afternoon.They may not be friends at school. But here they come toegether, play together and eat together.

Children are just wonderful! Living in their own worlds. I sometimes wish we didn’t lose that as we grow up.

What about you? Is there something you miss from your childhood?

Signing off…to clean my room… I still haven’t grown out some old habits.

 

 

The rest of our lives…

A cousin of mine is year 10 and is 15 years old. She is already being asked what she wants to do with the rest of her life. She has no idea; it’s a tough question to ask anyone let alone someone who is 15. When I was 15 I had no idea. When I was 21 I thought I knew exactly what I wanted to do… – be a Primary School Teacher. Now approaching my 25th birthday I’m asking myself the same question and I just don’t know.

I still think I’m too young to have it all “figured out”. Maybe, if I had been employed as a teacher at the end of last year; I would have a better idea. Upon reflection in not having straight away gotten a job I am “umming” and “ahhing” over what I want to do.

Earlier this year I was offered a job interview for a Kindergarten Teaching role – I spoke to the lady on the phone who was making the offer and because I don’t have quite the right qualifications I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t even go to the interview to see what it was all about. It got me thinking that with nannying experience and knowing that I love littlies – I thought to myself… what if I went back to uni and studied Early Childhood Edcuation?

What if I did both teaching and nannying? What if I went back to the idea of opening an etsy store? What if, what if, what if?

Is that all life is – a whole bunch of what ifs just waiting to never truly be answered?

Plus do I have to do the same thing for the rest of my life?

To be honest if someone asked what I wanted out of life. I would say that I just wanted to be happy. I don’t think there is a clear path for anyone to take. Some of us might be happy doing the same old thing forever whereas others might need to change our minds a couple of times. The rest of our lives is a long time to think about. I would rather just take my time.

Maybe every year for me can be new and different. I could find new things to do. It might be a bit unstable or less secure but I’m in my 20s. Do I really need to “figure it out?”

Does my life when in the stage of just looking out for myself really have to be so serious? I think all of us needs to relax a little bit. Especially myself.

I could ask the world a million questions but at the end of the day it’s my life and it is there for me to live it and how I would like to.

Signing off to go enjoy the rest of my Sunday!

If we didn’t have to work for a living…

I am asking the question – if we didn’t have to work for a living what would we do with our time? Do we work because we need the income or do we also do it because it’s fulfilling, it gives us a sense of purpose etc? It’s probably a bit of both but would we still work if we didn’t have to?

I am in the transition phase of life from just finishing my degree and starting my career. There are some days where life just feels like a series of steps, a series of things people need to complete in order to get through life.

Once we are born we come into a world that is completely unknown, we are taken care of by our parents, family members, friends and even strangers. When I look back to my child-hood although my Mother was the one I would say raised me, brought me up and did most of the work. There were other people there that came into my life and looked after me.

As I got older and in particular when my parents separated and later got divorced I learnt more about how to look after myself – for me the process of looking after myself started at about 6 or 7 years old. I still had other people around who I could depend upon but with my mother now being single I had to do more for myself.

It started with simple things like tieing my hair in a pony-tail but eventually I learnt to cook, do my washing and take myself to school.

I came out of school and was soon living in student accommodation and once again I was doing more myself and learning more about what I wanted for me.

By now I had completed both Primary and Secondary School and was about to start my degree.

The point that I’m trying to get at is that if you think about it once we are born we have a series of life lessons that need to be done before another lesson can begin. To the point where they are never-ending right up until we are no longer here.

I’m not saying that life is predictable or clear. Life does get in the way, we are presented with challenges and sometimes those “steps” have to be altered and changed in order to still get to where we want to go.

But where exactly are we going? If we can’t live forever is there is point? What would happen if we all decided to live on benefits?
Is that even possible?

For me being a teacher isn’t because of the money because lets face it I’m not going to earn a huge sum of money by doing my job. I’m doing it because I want to make a difference in the world. Plus I know that even if I didn’t need money for food, rent and bills I’d still do it. I can honestly say that I have enough love for what I got my degree in to do regardless of the money.

If I had more time just for me I would probably do more art, baking, writing, reading, watching of movies, etc. Not every day would be jam-packed and I probably wouldn’t get up early and decide that 9ish would be the earliest I’d wake up and I’d love to live in my trackies/pjs and not have to really worry about how I looked. But would I love my life? Honestly no, I don’t think I would. I can’t imagine not working with children in any way shape or form. As a nanny/babysitter, teacher or with what I’m doing now with before and after school care.

Everyday I feel so lucky to be a part of the lives that I’m a part of. Some of these kids are at school each day from 7:15am to 6pm at night, they have homework, extra-curricular activities/sport, parties, weekends away, etc. Their childhood isn’t exactly what I’d call easy. It’s pretty full-on.

The weekends and school holidays are for me time. If another person comes into my life some day then he will be included. But for now I can enjoy my spare time. I can enjoy my work and my hobbies. I think I’m pretty fortunate. My job to me isn’t simply a job and I cherish the time I have for myself.

I would rather be blissfully happy earning little than miserable earning a lot.

Signing off – Happy Saturday!!

 

My new job!!

I started a new job on Monday! I work in before and after school which means that every day Monday to Friday I get to go to one school and provide care for children aged 5-12 in both the morning and afternoon. The split shift is a hard adjustment. The job itself is wonderful.

The morning starts with setting up the kitchen with breakfast for the children, wiping down the tables and discussing the days activities with my co-ordinator.

As the children arrive with their parents what they do varies. Some decide to go straight into playing a game, doing arts and crafts or their homework. The kids I work with are diligent with their schoolwork, polite and very fun to be around.

As they settle into the morning some ask for milo, cereal or toast. While others have already had their breakfast. There are only a few kids who come in the mornings with the most being about 10.

One of the kids insists I don’t give her enough milo. I laugh to myself as I used to be a lover of milo and would enjoy much more than she gets given. This is one of the great things about working with children. When you realise how similar you are or once were.

The afternoons are a much busier affair. We can have 20+ children. I know as a teacher that, that is normal. However, it’s very different in this job. Although there are activties planned it can be quite unstructured.

We do ball games, arts and crafts, colouring competitions, cooking, etc. It can be very busy!

The kids are all different too as some don’t really want to participate. As someone who experienced going to both before and after school care I can really appreciate where they’re coming from. They want to be at home.

With a bit of encouragement to have them join in there is a fine line between wanting them to participate and be a part of the group and not pushing them in doing something they don’t want to do.

In drips and drabs the children leave until eventually there is no one left and it’s time to go home. As the assistant I’m not always there for this depending on ratios and on a Friday it’s a most common occurance… which is good because by then I’m ready to go home early.

So far everyday I’ve been thinking to myself “am I seriously getting paid for this?” “I’m having too much fun!”

I think that’s a sign that I pretty much love my new job.

Teaching is still on the cards but for now I’m pretty happy!!

Siging off – I need a nap! 😉

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