Saving Mr Banks is Practically Perfect in Every Way!

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Saving Mr Banks really is a good film.

This film is unexpectedly sad in some ways. From what I knew of P.L.Travers or Helen Lyndon Goff (her real name) she didn’t exactly have the happiest of lives. Being that is made by Disney I thought there may have been a bit more a happy twist placed on this film.

It just was not like that. It started with a Mary Poppins like quote read from a narrator with images of clouds in the sky. These clouds circled around towards the ground where we meet P.L.Travers as a child. She is there playing with her father – Travers Robert Goff. They were just about to leave their home in Maryborough, Queensland   – 1905.  We are then taken to London, England 1961 where we meet P.L.Travers as an adult arguing with her agent over visiting Walt Disney.

The film has both her childhood and her time spent in Los Angeles interwoven with each other.  This takes us into her life in a unique way while also allowing us to understand why she does not want to let go of these stories; of her Mary Poppins. They also manage to give us small glimpses of the movie Mary Poppins with music, photos and film. Which is done magnificently and in a variety of ways.

Slowly as the film unfolds we can get a better idea about where Mary Poppins actually came from, why she was created. I do not believe from what I saw it is based on one particular person in her life but aspects of maybe two.

For those of you who have not yet seen the film and plan to I am relucent to say too much. It makes writing this blog post rather difficult or slightly more challenging than usual. But I am still having fun reflecting on a movie that I know I will happily go back and watch again. Of course I will then buy the dvd.

P.L.Travers and certainly Mary Poppins would not approve of such a thing. DVDs! I almost wish for both their sakes that this story had been presented in a more old-fashioned and more appropriate kind of way! But it does not stop me from loving it!

Tom Hanks as Walt Disney and Emma Thompson as P.L. Travers were great casting choices. I could not have picked two people better suited for their roles. In the way they look and in how they speak! How they work off each other enables me to see how it might have been at the time. The costumes helped, too!

If you plan on seeing this film, wait until almost the very end. You’ll be in for a nice surprise.

Even if you do not love Mary Poppins as much as I do or any of her fans. This film needs to been seen! 

 

 

 

Breaking away from writer’s block…

Finally!!! For the longest of times… I have had terrible writer’s block! I have started that many blog posts and deleted that many unfinished blog posts that I thought it would take a miracle before I wrote one again… but no instead it is a poem!!

A poem! YAY I have written another poem. I can’t actually remember the last time I wrote a poem. It feels great to have completed this poem. I remember being on a tram when I started it… lines like rumbling tram… journeying girl came out and I found myself thinking about my trip to work and how I liked the time I got to read. I started writing about what I did when I got to work. As I saw the words on the page and what looked like a poem that I had written… I just wasn’t happy. It was frustrating me that the lines weren’t flowing on the page. I don’t experience writer’s block that often. I know that writer’s have written about it… about the pain of writing. But for some reason it doesn’t happen for me in such a way. I love getting my pen out and to write. Just the feeling of the movement of the pen in my hand is enjoyable.

So for it to not be so enjoyable wasn’t good…

Then yesterday… I had what people say is the “light bulb moment” as I was at a cafe eating my brunch… I wrote in my journal about how annoying it was to think and think but for words to not be written on the page and this morning it all came to me.

I wrote another poem!!!

It feels good.

Here is the link to my other blog – for those who are interested in reading it:

http://songbirdwriting.blogspot.com.au/

Have a read and let me know what you think! You’ll notice how everyday life it is! 🙂

Happy Reading

Signing off to enjoy my weekend. 

7:30am is my new sleep in time!?!?

7:30am on a Saturday morning and I am awake? I never would have thought that I would wake up at this time without an alarm clock on a weekday let alone a Saturday. During the week I have to leave the house before 6am to get to work on time. My alarm is set at 4:45am and I’m usually up by about 5:20. There are still some normal me things that I do of a morning.

I know that my body clock has changed… but it still seems odd to me. During the school holidays slowly and slowly I was able to sleep in later. But these days as it gets closer to 9pm you’ll see me nodding off. My latest night on the school holidays would have been 11pm. Not very late by my standards…

It’s interesting how my job as changed my lifestyle and what I would consider quite dramatically. I sometimes dream back to last year and the years before. The days that I was part of the education system as a student. I had days off that I could claim as “study days”.  I felt my life to be very busy. I have only been a part of the working world for what? two months? And yet I am already noticing the dramatic shift.

I remember back to when I finished high-school and was moving on to uni. I had this feeling, as though I was in a grieving period where I was at a loss. I decided to take a year off. To this day I would say that, that was one of the best decisions I have ever made. However, during that year I wasn’t really transitioning. I didn’t have that “phase” as some might say. I was almost in limbo. I was missing school and did not know what was to come of me.

At the start of this year I worked in a factory. That taught me not to get a job in a factory. In the middle of year I travelled with my mother. That taught me to see the world, just maybe not with my mother… although surprisingly enough I would go overseas with her again. But that’s another story for another time. By the end of the year I was working at a general store. I loved that job. It taught me more about the confidence I had inside that there was there all along but that I had never believed existed. Once that year was over however, I was ready for my course to begin.

I started uni and in some ways it felt as though I was back at school again. The change was not that different. I was still missing school but for different reasons. I was missing my friends not school itself. It felt good to be in a place where I worked out a good routine, a good way to study and to enjoy my placements at schools. I can’t believe I am already reflecting back upon my uni life. It’s too soon.

It feels too soon for a lot of new changes. But I guess in working in before and after school I get to experience another year “off” so to speak. Everyday I am learning new things. About me, the children, the school and the parents. I am certainly seeing myself grow as a person. I have this kind of confidence that similarly to my job at the general store was always there but I never believed existed. 

Learning from life and our experiences is great. If it means waking up earlier to do so. Then I’m happy. I’m happy because I’m working, not everyone is these days. If life were as simple as putting all the pieces of the puzzle exactly where they were meant to go. We would all be bored. That would be sad.

I’m happy that I haven’t had things happen in my life just as they “should” be because I have learnt so much. I believe to be a much stronger person because of it.

Awake at 7:30am on a Saturday? I shouldn’t really complain and question it. I will choose to enjoy it. Enjoy listening to the birds outside my window. Enjoy relaxing in bed. Enjoy the fact that I’m awake earlier enough to go down to a gluten-free cafe and buy their amazing gf bread. Plus I have still had a two hour sleep in. So I think I’m doing pretty well. 🙂

Signing off – I need to get up, feed the cat and get me some (gf) bread!!

If we didn’t have to work for a living…

I am asking the question – if we didn’t have to work for a living what would we do with our time? Do we work because we need the income or do we also do it because it’s fulfilling, it gives us a sense of purpose etc? It’s probably a bit of both but would we still work if we didn’t have to?

I am in the transition phase of life from just finishing my degree and starting my career. There are some days where life just feels like a series of steps, a series of things people need to complete in order to get through life.

Once we are born we come into a world that is completely unknown, we are taken care of by our parents, family members, friends and even strangers. When I look back to my child-hood although my Mother was the one I would say raised me, brought me up and did most of the work. There were other people there that came into my life and looked after me.

As I got older and in particular when my parents separated and later got divorced I learnt more about how to look after myself – for me the process of looking after myself started at about 6 or 7 years old. I still had other people around who I could depend upon but with my mother now being single I had to do more for myself.

It started with simple things like tieing my hair in a pony-tail but eventually I learnt to cook, do my washing and take myself to school.

I came out of school and was soon living in student accommodation and once again I was doing more myself and learning more about what I wanted for me.

By now I had completed both Primary and Secondary School and was about to start my degree.

The point that I’m trying to get at is that if you think about it once we are born we have a series of life lessons that need to be done before another lesson can begin. To the point where they are never-ending right up until we are no longer here.

I’m not saying that life is predictable or clear. Life does get in the way, we are presented with challenges and sometimes those “steps” have to be altered and changed in order to still get to where we want to go.

But where exactly are we going? If we can’t live forever is there is point? What would happen if we all decided to live on benefits?
Is that even possible?

For me being a teacher isn’t because of the money because lets face it I’m not going to earn a huge sum of money by doing my job. I’m doing it because I want to make a difference in the world. Plus I know that even if I didn’t need money for food, rent and bills I’d still do it. I can honestly say that I have enough love for what I got my degree in to do regardless of the money.

If I had more time just for me I would probably do more art, baking, writing, reading, watching of movies, etc. Not every day would be jam-packed and I probably wouldn’t get up early and decide that 9ish would be the earliest I’d wake up and I’d love to live in my trackies/pjs and not have to really worry about how I looked. But would I love my life? Honestly no, I don’t think I would. I can’t imagine not working with children in any way shape or form. As a nanny/babysitter, teacher or with what I’m doing now with before and after school care.

Everyday I feel so lucky to be a part of the lives that I’m a part of. Some of these kids are at school each day from 7:15am to 6pm at night, they have homework, extra-curricular activities/sport, parties, weekends away, etc. Their childhood isn’t exactly what I’d call easy. It’s pretty full-on.

The weekends and school holidays are for me time. If another person comes into my life some day then he will be included. But for now I can enjoy my spare time. I can enjoy my work and my hobbies. I think I’m pretty fortunate. My job to me isn’t simply a job and I cherish the time I have for myself.

I would rather be blissfully happy earning little than miserable earning a lot.

Signing off – Happy Saturday!!

 

My new job!!

I started a new job on Monday! I work in before and after school which means that every day Monday to Friday I get to go to one school and provide care for children aged 5-12 in both the morning and afternoon. The split shift is a hard adjustment. The job itself is wonderful.

The morning starts with setting up the kitchen with breakfast for the children, wiping down the tables and discussing the days activities with my co-ordinator.

As the children arrive with their parents what they do varies. Some decide to go straight into playing a game, doing arts and crafts or their homework. The kids I work with are diligent with their schoolwork, polite and very fun to be around.

As they settle into the morning some ask for milo, cereal or toast. While others have already had their breakfast. There are only a few kids who come in the mornings with the most being about 10.

One of the kids insists I don’t give her enough milo. I laugh to myself as I used to be a lover of milo and would enjoy much more than she gets given. This is one of the great things about working with children. When you realise how similar you are or once were.

The afternoons are a much busier affair. We can have 20+ children. I know as a teacher that, that is normal. However, it’s very different in this job. Although there are activties planned it can be quite unstructured.

We do ball games, arts and crafts, colouring competitions, cooking, etc. It can be very busy!

The kids are all different too as some don’t really want to participate. As someone who experienced going to both before and after school care I can really appreciate where they’re coming from. They want to be at home.

With a bit of encouragement to have them join in there is a fine line between wanting them to participate and be a part of the group and not pushing them in doing something they don’t want to do.

In drips and drabs the children leave until eventually there is no one left and it’s time to go home. As the assistant I’m not always there for this depending on ratios and on a Friday it’s a most common occurance… which is good because by then I’m ready to go home early.

So far everyday I’ve been thinking to myself “am I seriously getting paid for this?” “I’m having too much fun!”

I think that’s a sign that I pretty much love my new job.

Teaching is still on the cards but for now I’m pretty happy!!

Siging off – I need a nap! 😉

My battle with gluten free breakfast!

So today I decided to make myself Quinoa Porridge! It took about half an hour to make which for breakfast is a bit of a drainer, so when I sat down and ate it, I thought to myself: “this better taste good!”

Guess what – it did! It tasted bloody brilliantly in fact. A little sweet so I’ve learnt for next time to add less golden syrup… but a part from that it was warm, crunchy (for the chopped almonds) and incredibly filling!

The afternoon has come and I can still feel a happy stomach and a sigh of relief!

My batttle with gluten free breakfast actually feels like it’s getting easier!

Back in the day before I knew of my Coeliac Disease, breakfast was simple. A couple pieces of toast, fruit and a cup of tea or if I had a bit more time – then I’d treat myself to eggs on toast, maybe even with a bit of bacon.

In the past year or so I’ve been learning what it’s like to live on a gluten free diet and breakfast as been the hardest meal to conquer. I’ve tried everything! From packaged rice porridge, fruit and yoghurt and of course gf cereal. Toast was set aside as gf bread is expensive and it’s hard to find a good loaf out there that isn’t like a brick.  Nothing has seemed to fill me up and I’m usually hungry about an hour after eating! It’s been frustrating as anything plus not exaclty that healthy either. Snacking is NOT a good alternative, that’s for sure.

It’s nice to finally be feeling like I can start the day like most normal people do – with a good breakfast! Since eating the Quinoa Porridge, I have felt fuller and have gained more energy. It put me in the mood to have a productive day. Instead of feeling sluggish and ‘starving’.

Being a coeliac has it’s moments and it’s definetly a learning curve on how to be a better cook in giving myself a healthy, delicious and filling diet. One that I can ensure will give me the most nutritients and thus allowing me to be the best that I can be.  When I discover new recipes like the porridge I made today I am faced with mixed feelings. Somewhere between triumph and feeling excluded. Triumph because I can eat something and enjoy it and exluded because I’m not a part of the ‘normal’ world anymore.

I know that these days being on gluten free diet is easier than it was ten or even five years ago but it doesn’t take away the ‘sucky’ feeling I have when I have to go food shopping, go to a restaurant, a friend’s house, a party or can’t be bothered and want take-way. There isn’t really an easy way out and today with my porridge I’m ok with that but maybe tomorrow things won’t be so easy.

I know I have to stick to the diet for my health and stay positive which I do with all my determination. But all I’m saying is – sometimes I wish I didn’t have to. Sometimes I wish I could walk across the road and buy some fish and chips and finish off the meal with an ice-cream in a cone – now that would be a real treat!!

In the meantime: here’s to brekky! You don’t know how amazing it is until you can longer find a simple way to enjoy it.

Signing off so I can more fun learning how to be a better gluten free cook! 🙂

 

 

 

 

To be yourself

Lately I’ve been caught up in so much of what is going on in other people’s lives, but what for? I’m me and that’s ok. I should just be who I am and the best that I can be…

I should not feel sad or anxious about not having something that another person may have just because I feel like I should have those things. If those things are not here right now than that doesn’t matter maybe they’ll come and maybe they won’t. Maybe they’ll come tomorrow and maybe they’ll come in a few years time…

I’m reading this book called “down to earth” … ( http://www.penguin.com.au/products/9780670075928/down-earth)

It’s very inspiring…

One of things that I have just read is

“Stop living according to the expectations of others and focus on building a life that is unique to you”

The book is centred around the idea of simple living. Since being diagnosed with Coeliac Disease I have gone from thinking all I will rely on is the gluten-free substitutes but cook how I used to e.g spag bol (Spaghetti Bolognese) but with G-F pasta, flourless chocolate cake…etc, then I decided to branch out and try new recipes and before you knew it I had a cupboard full of different ingredients…

I started to think if living gluten-free meant 20 ingredients that used to only take 4 or 5 that, that was a bit insane… I have the gluten-free 4 ingredients cookbook… but most of those recipes are good but a bit too basic…I still want to be able to eat delicious food just not spend so much money…

The great thing about this book is it gives you so many ideas on how to live your life fully but simply and not only that but it gives you a guide for each stage in your life in decades so 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s and retirement.  It emphasizes on how if you’re not already living the life you want then it’s never too late to start. (The writer of this book is in her 60s and looks back on her life when she takes the plunge into the concept of simple living…)

It’s true to say that I’m very much a homebody and have always been very happy with that. I want to do things like travel – through my own country and the world…

I want to continue my education (on my own terms…), I want to learn another language, etc,etc

Let’s face it I want love and babies…

And tea and cake

and cats and dogs

and I want to be happy in a place that I call home… I want that home to be filled with photos of friends and family

places I’ve been…

I want my own veggie patch, herb garden… to have lots of flowers

I want to give back to the world so that not all my sentences start with “I want” like they have been…

and acceptance lots of acceptance…

but I think the place to begin is in myself otherwise I don’t think all those things will happen…

If I accept that I am who I am and that no body and I mean no body can take that away from me then I think I will be a better person… along the way I will learn from others of course but I can’t let influence take over and create someone I’m not because that will crush me before my time and no one wants that…

I’ve had a huge lesson of the day:

Be happy with who you are and who you will be!

Signing off because my feet feel frozen!!!

(15 days till Darwin, 15 days to 30 degree weather that’s celsius btw…)

This anxious excited feeling!!

I go from feeling so excited that I’m literally jumping up and down to feeling so nervous I can’t eat some days in a manner of minutes and this is all because of this year. It’s roughly 5 -6 months before I will  have finished my course and will become a graduate teacher and each day, each week and each month I get just a little bit closer to end of the line.

Today is a good example of feeling really excited… before I was sitting in my kitchen writing an action plan – a tedious assignment placed there to torture us by our lecturers and even though it’s a drag to complete it felt necessary to complete. It was interesting to see where I am now and what I plan to do to achieve what I need to before the end of the year. If all goes well then a job will be in my sights!!

After tackling this work I went for a driving lesson, during this lesson my instructor said that I was doing really well and by the end he said it will probably only be a few more lessons before I’m driving with ease. With this in the back of my mind I could see that things were coming together…

Then I relayed my thoughts during a phone call to Mum and started to feel anxious again – I was back in the spiral!!

So I decided I needed to be here and right a post about it, besides it ties in nicely with all ideas behind this blog anyway so it does make sense!

It’s great to feel like I’m actually achieving something through doing this teaching degree. It’s not just that I’ll have a job. It’s a dream that I’ve had for a very long time that will actually come true. It’s the marks/grades I’ve received since I’ve started and it’s looking back at where I was when I began to where I am now.

The best bit is – I actually believe that it’s happening. I believe that I am capable and that once I get there I’ll be great.

I say this because it’s taken me through my entire education to believe so – that is also an achievement. To go from a kid with a lack of self-esteem and thinking that I couldn’t do much in the world to now believing that I can and will gives me such an amazing feeling…

For once I don’t need other people to point it out and better still I’m not second guessing when they do… My response isn’t a shy “Oh really??” it’s a confident “Thank-you!” and a facial expression that shows I agree!!

I don’t know if anyone else has ever felt this way – I’m sure there are plenty of people who have… but seriously it’s great, it makes me cry – in a good way and it makes me not want to settle for less, plus I also feel a somewhat sense of assertivness…not too over-powering as it’s not in my nature…but you know – I just feel good!!

I thought that I would keep this short – to say the end is near yikes/yay – and that persistence and hard work pays off. The thought of know that I’m nearly there makes me want to strive even more to get there and really do it!!

Give life a real crack otherwise there is no point – we only have one chance at it after all!

To my fellow Education P-12 students: we’re so close so lets keep at it, before we know it – we’ll blink and be graduate teachers!!!

Oh my goodness!!

Signing off to go make something to eat!! 🙂

 

Getting caught comparing ourselves to others.

It’s a tricky thing in this “modern life” to not compare yourselves to the people around you.

I remember as a teenager I used to think the worse about myself if I saw someone give me even the smallest of glances. Eventually though I think most teenagers think people are watching them all the time. Watching to see if you do the right by others, watching to see if you give up your seat for the elderly, what clothes you are wearing, the food you eat, etc – basically everything that makes up who you are.

I didn’t have the best self-esteem plus I took nearly everything personally…still to this day I have those moments where I think about what other might be thinking or think unrealistically about a situation. Maybe though we all go through that stage?

I have learnt the difference between my realistic thinking and my unrealistic thinking. I feel as though even if I have those thoughts right when I’m having them I somehow switch into a more realistic mode of thinking and things start to feel “normal” again.

Tonight though I got home from babysitting (my honeybun and sugar-plum) – a discrete reference because they aren’t my children…but I noticed a book at their house that they had a book called “The Mother’s Group” – I wasn’t snooping, it was on the coffee table clearly there for anyone to see…but it intrigued me…I googled of course and found out roughly what it was about…

The idea of a mother’s group has always been fascinating to me… first time mothers getting together to meet, talking about what it is to be a mother, getting tips,etc…

but in my classic way of thinking comes the idea that a group of women all incredibly tired, hormonal, all over the shop…etc then being placed in a group that they don’t know each other = disaster. Won’t they all “bitch” about each other? Won’t they all compare each other? the list goes on… I mean when you think about it women don’t grow out of being women…we’re naturally going to think like this and naturally talk about others behind our backs… a vicious cycle really…

I was able to attend a mother’s group meeting which I thought was great and worked well and have heard really great stories…

But there is something that Istilldon’t like the idea of them…

I’m pretty sure my mum didn’t have a mother’s group and at the end of the day she has just done her best.

I’m writing this because out of everyone out there in the world. (I believe) Mother’s get the most amount of criticism. They are criticised about everything. From sleep, food, clothes, their child’s development, the cleanliness of their home, the school’s their children go to, their careers – not just what they do but whether they work or not, the way they discipline their children…the list I would say is never-ending.

Mum says as soon as I decide to have children: that everyone will have an opinion and try to give you advice. Which will probably include the name that I decide on.

We are so lost these days that no one shares anything with anyone else except our partners (married or not).

I’m the type of person that will reach out for advice but do hope that I just do things the way I wish and to do my best.

We need to give the mother’s of the world a break, they have children…they haven’t slept since the day they were born…even my mother I still think doesn’t sleep properly. Plus children are meant to be children!

It’s not just mother’s though. It’s everyone…

Give yourselves a break. I know the world out there is full of things that influence our day-to-day lives and who we are but you still need to remember who that is. Deep down there is a person who has your believes, interests, personality, etc and you just need to be them.

Think back to when you were five – you went about your day, had fun, did your reading, writing and arithmetic, came home, ate dinner and went back and did it all over again.

When I was five I aspired to be a teacher and a mother. I sit here today still with those same aspirations…one will come true at the end of this year, the other when I’m ready and when Ifeelis right… but when I look at that person who played made-up games and didn’t care if my hair was neat or my clothes looked nice. I wish some part of that person could still be me… growing up has pushed me past those days…but back again to allow myself be who I am.

They say that it’s when you get to your 30s you feel most aware of who you are and most comfortable in your skin… but I believe it’s the five-year-olds we all once were.

If life were that simple, we would all be in ignorant bliss…

If a child can look up at you with their curls all tangled, food on their clothes but be completely happy and laughing – then why can’t we adults do the same?

Because we are all too worried!!

I think my point that I’ve been trying to say is look at who you are? What do you see?

Don’t look at John or Sally and think… they have it all and their lives are perfect, why I can’t I be more like them… cos believe me… you won’t.

If you would like to read my latest poem which relates to this post here is the link:

http://songbirdwriting.blogspot.com.au/2012/05/your-judgement-eyes.html

Signing off… to reflect upon a GREAT and happy Sunday!

Hope you all had a fantasitc day!! 🙂

GLUTEN-FREE VEGEMITE!!

I actually cried after having a bite of a rice cracker with GF Vegemite. Then after the cry I’m pretty sure I screamed and then sang.

I couldn’t believe how great it tasted and how wonderful it felt to eat something that was such a huge part of my life.

It’s not just the Vegemite though.

There are other things that are making me reminiscence and other things that I miss deeply.

There are dates coming up that are allowing me to think like this and with this I will make this post short.

Moments like I had with the GF Vegemite are pretty awesome. It also allows you to see that sadder parts of life are there and sometimes you have to give in to them and that’s ok.

Just as long as after-wards you enjoy the GF Vegemite.

Happy eating and enjoying life – taking it for what it is. 🙂

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