A change of heart

It turns out that in this present moment I haven’t gained a teaching position for term 1, 2013.

Which I am surprisingly enough ok with. I will admit it’s not exactly where I thought I would end up at the start of this year. I thought finishing my degree would mean that I would start full-time work as a teacher.

But you know what it’s not the end of the earth.

In everything that I have gone through and the stress that I have been put through because of it I am looking forward to having a different year than originally planned.

I have gained employment with a teaching agency which will give me relief teaching work and am hoping to have some other child related work to get me by.

But in the mean time I am happy to report that I have started a new hobby – art journalling:

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The first picture is based on a poem I wrote and thought that it would be a good place to start – actually most of these are just experimenting with ideas. But in terms of having something to write I find myself keeping two separate journals. One for thoughts and one for art.

The second picture is because I always find myself drawing flowers.

The third is because I wanted to see if I could make something look like an old envelope/letter. The stamps in the corner all mean different things to me.

The last one is still a work in progress and the writing are quotes to do with positive emotions and reasons as to why I want to get into art journalling.

In the middle of me trying all of this out…

My Grandpa passed away – Tuesday 22nd of Jan 2013. He did so in a very peaceful way which was what he wanted.

In the past few days I have experienced as one would expect a whole series of emotions.

But ultimately I just want to remember him. When I look back and think about the person who he is… I remember being at school with my Grandma and her telling me he used to be a teacher. I think that over the years of figuring out what I wanted to do with my life, he has had some influence on me being a teacher.

I haven’t had the strongest relationship with him but I think at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter… He is still my Grandpa. I will remember him…

I will go on to someday getting a teaching contract, it doesn’t mean that I’m not a teacher as I am but getting a full-time job might just take a little longer than originally planned.

That’s ok.

In the meantime to those reading this post – despite the not so great quality of these photos, I do hope that you enjoy them.

Signing off – to enjoy the rest of the weekend!

 

 

Just having a good time

As usual this year I didn’t make a news year resolution. I don’t believe in them. Mainly due to the fact that by February they get broken. But also because I believe that the new year is simply the passing of time. I know that for many people making a resolution is like saying you have a fresh start.

To me each day is a fresh start. It’s new, it’s yours and you make it how you wish. Each morning I wake and say to myself “it’s a new day!” Whether I had a great day or not, it doesn’t matter I have a new day to do things, organise things, to work, to plan or whatever it is that you do.

Although I do want to have more fun this year. I know that for sure. I find myself to be someone who is too serious. If I get stressed then I get stuck in that moment and can’t seem to enjoy myself. I can’t seem to simply go with the flow and have a good time.

For the past two weeks I have been stuck at home recovering from a throat infection. At first it started out like the flu but progressively it got worse. It was so bad that it felt as though I had a rock stuck in my throat and I was wearing jumpers when the weather was hot because of my tempreature. I was miserable. I soaked up a lot of tv and ate a lot of home delivered food because I didn’t want to go outside – due to symptons becoming worse.

By finally managing to go to my doctor I was prescribed anti-biotics and finally feel like myself again. Tonight I went out with a friend and came home feeling great!

I need to do that more. Not just want but need. I honestly 100% feel like this is a real need.

It was just a simple evening with dinner, dessert and lots of talking but it really was great.

I think with being a natural home-body and introvert I can get too comfortable with spending time at home. I’m never bored when I’m home because I’m always doing one of many creative hobbies. Which does make me happy.

But everyone including me needs to interact with other human beings and have fun. It doesn’t have to be a big night or day. But just something that allows us to have a good talk, laugh and try new places to eat.

Plus being a coeliac I have a bigger reason to not get stuck with the same old places simply because I’m secure in knowing the food is gluten free. In 2013 I know there are more and more options for us with dietry requirements. I don’t see why we have to miss out because we can’t eat certain foods.

It’s a new year, same me but more fun! Lets do it. 🙂

Christmas is all around

Christmas

It’s Thursday the 27th of December here in Melbourne, Australia. 30 Degrees celisus and extremly windy. I am just having the last bites of my Christmas Pavlova and sipping on a hot chocolate.

In my current state I feel a sugar coma about to commence, I’m tired, not at all hungry and can’t stop sneezing. The celebrations of Christmas is over but the holiday itself still pushes on.

Since the 20th of December I have been in a whirlwind of family. My Auntie and Uncle are visiting from DC (Washington) which is always a time of excitment and chaos…

It started with dinner at a favourite middle eastern restaurant…then a long trip to my grandparents farm… then to my mother’s house at the beach… by the 23rd –  17 of my family members including myself sat down for an assortment of foods for our Christmas lunch…
by Christmas eve it was just Mum, my brother and myself… and Christmas Day we enjoyed the meal pictured above…

And here I am feeling relieved to spend time with myself… contemplating what the new year is yet to bring while occassionally taking a glimpse at the pile of washing waiting to washed.

“Oh there’s always tomorrow!” I say to myself

But no seriously it really has to be done…

The day itself is over. But as I look out the window or wander through my house.

I see that Christmas really is all around…

Signing off because the sugar coma really is setting in…

PS Do I sound like Hugh Grant in Love Actually??

 

 

Everything is ok

Job searching is gruelling, it comes with more disappointment and set backs that I thought was possible.

I looked back today on my study results and grades through-out my course and realised that I’ve done really well. I’m still doing really well.

It’s now getting closer to the Christmas period and I think that all I have to do is focus on enjoying that time. A time where family come together to celebrate love, giving and hope.

I have a lot in my life and a lot to give. If I sit here and accept that I will get there, then I will. There will come a day where I have my own classroom with my own students and can teach. It just might take more time that I originally planned.

Which is ok. I don’t want to mope away the summer in stress and fear of not having a teaching job. I’m a young woman about to turn 24, there are still so many years ahead of me to figure things out.

Besides I’ve always had a theory that all anyone is doing is figuring things out… whether your my age or in your 30s, 40s, 50s whichever things might not always be clear… or never clear. I will live the life that I’m living and even though it’s not always easy to stay positive at the end of the day

Everything is ok. It’s all good, I just need to take one step at a time! 🙂

To anyone else who is this situation don’t lose heart, use the set backs to become more determined – because I know that, that is what I’m doing!

Signing off – good night. Don’t let the bed bugs bite, if they do use dynamite.

I can go the distance!

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I’m inspired by Disney as though I’m still a little girl – but this song although I’m not aspiring to be a hero I feel is very reminiscent of what I am trying to achieve. I think that if I didn’t do everything in my power to achieve my life goals then I wouldn’t have the same satisfaction as I did once I got there.

If finding a job takes more than 70 job applications with most of them being rejected before I find the school that’s right for me then, then so be it.

I want this more than anything at this stage of my life and I will do what it takes to get there.

If it means singing a long to songs such as “I can go the distance” featured in the Disney film “Hercules” in order to help in boosting my confidence than so be it. I have to hold on to the belief that I will get there in the end.

Like anything I’ve so far achieved, it takes what it takes to get there and I just have to do what that is!

In the meantime – got anymore Disney songs I can sing to reflect how I’m feeling??

Signing of for more singing! 🙂

Woah… short post!

I’m no longer who I was anymore

I have just read my first post of the year. I’m no longer that person anymore. I cannot believe that in the space of nine months that I have changed as much as I have.

I have learnt so much about who I am in such a short space of time. I can honestly say that I now accept who I am, all that I am and who I will be. Acceptance of myself has given me the freedom to be who I am and just for me.

Today was one of those typical Melbourne days. This morning I left my house and it was cold, arrived to where I was heading and it was muggie, by mid-morning it was stormy, by the afternoon it was steamy and by the time I got home again it was windy and cold. Typical! Typical is all I can say.

The point of me telling you about the weather is that with this ever-changing day I started wearing my jeans as one would normally and decided to roll them up because they had gotten wet and were uncomfortable. I couldn’t be bothered to unroll them back to how they were ‘meant’ to look so I didn’t and on my way home it struck me that I didn’t care. I didn’t care because I actually felt comfortable not just in my rolled up jeans but in my own skin.

Through job-searching and many rejections I’ve realised that none of it actually matters.

We all get there eventually. I want what I want in my life and because I know who I am, my determination and persistence – I know that I will get there.

My Mum told me today that she was proud of me. That’s all a daughter wants, is to make their parents proud and as I see my mother as a person that took on both parental roles; I feel like I’ve done my job. While even though these words are making me cry. It’s not because I’m sad, it’s because I’m happy.

Today was such a great day! I got to spend it with someone who I care about, I very much enjoy her company and felt very much appreciated for me and what I do for people. I arrive home and find a parcel for me. First thought is: uh-oh… I don’t remember ordering something from *insert name of company here* what have I done? I open the parcel. It’s from Pigeon Hole, NT – a 2013 calender of photos of the kids I taught – how wonderful! I end the day with a catch up with Mum and the viewing of “Brave”… I’m exhausted. But I feel great!!

Things will work out in the end. 🙂 The best thing is realising that I know I can do it.

I sit here today as a woman about to experience my next chapter. As I knew but didn’t quite believe back in 2007. Life is beautiful.

Signing off to grab a glass of water and get ready for bed!

Attracting attention!

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I remember as a child being excited about going to see the Christmas lights.

I never would have have thought I would grow up to find a street being lined with Christmas wool. The crowds have been flocking to a nature strip to take photos of trees covered in wool. It’s a strange concept but I believe it works. I think in this day in age with people being swayed into looking after the environment wool could be a way forward… Maybe?

I’m not actually sure if this could actually take off. But so far I think for this leafy street, it’s doing the right job. In a snow-covered street it may not have quite the same effect. But that’s what I like about being a warm climate for christmas. We’re different to most everyone else. We still eat big meals, exchange gifts and spend time with family. But we get to do it in the heat, under the sun and at the beach if we so desire.

An Aussie Christmas is not what you hear about in traditional carols or stories and most people from other parts of the world don’t quite understand it but I think that’s why I love it. I’ve experienced a Christmas in winter and I have to say it wasn’t quite the same. It was more like being in a story-book or fairytale land which on one hand was great and to have to experience just once was pretty cool. But I much prefer Australia. I’m usually hanging at the beach just chilling and I love that! 

I can’t believe it’s nearly that time of the year again! I’ve had such a whirl-wind of a year but I’m really grateful to soon be starting the new adventures that I’m sure 2013 will bring!

To Christmas wool – will it be the new ‘thing’ for Christmas? It sure is attracting attention!

Signing off – happy end of the year!

 

It’s not the healthy option

If you have a choice to be on a gluten free diet and you’re considering it because you think it’s healthier… think again. I have Coeliac Disease which has meant that my doctor “prescribed” a life-long gluten-free diet. I don’t have a choice. I have to stay away from foods containing wheat, rye, barely and oats. I’m not doing this because I’m a picky eater, because I want to lose weight or because it’s a trendy thing to do.

I’m doing this because I want to look after my body. I want to be able to someday have babies, do as much as I can to prevent myself from getting cancer and try and not get any other disease or illness. If I eat gluten it’s not as though it’s an intolerance, I get sick, recover and then continue my life as it was. I’m actually damaging my body.

from coliac.org.au

In people with coeliac disease the immune system reacts abnormally to gluten (a protein found in wheat, rye, barley and oats), causing small bowel damage. The tiny, finger-like projections which line the bowel (villi) become inflamed and flattened. This is referred to as villous atrophy. The surface area of the bowel available for nutrient absorption is markedly reduced which can lead to various gastrointestinal and malabsorptive symptoms.

A number of serious health consequences can result if the condition is not diagnosed and treated properly.

See people! Do you understand now?

I’m sorry to be on this rant. But I saw that someone had put a gluten-free flour converter onto their pinterest on a board that was titled “Health food” and it got me fuming. I then started to think…

Why does the super-market put the gluten-free options in the health-food section?

That to me is sending completely the wrong message. Isn’t it?

I mean to eat gluten-free food is benefiting the health of me and others like me but if I don’t believe it’s necessarily a healthy option then why is it in the health food aisle? I mean there are gluten-free chips, biscuits, bars covered in chocolate etc. Which means that they’re putting the not necessarily healthy option in the health-food aisle…

I believe that just doesn’t make any sense.  But then again a lot of these things before becoming more mainstream were in health food stores.

I just sometimes wish I wasn’t walking through the super-market so confused and like I said a thousand times before that more people have a better understanding of people who have these type of conditions. Or at least if they didn’t stop pretending that they knew what they were talking about.

Don’t make the same mistakes I have, Asian food just because most of their dishes are served with rice is most certainly not gluten free. Oh and by the way – don’t ask me if I have vegemite because I can’t eat it!

On a lighter note – a friend and I are going to a 100% Gluten Free Cafe tomorrow for lunch.

I’m excited because I get to order anything off the menu!

Signing off because I’m dead tired! Cheerio 🙂

Enjoy it and stop worrying about your next step!

“Your purpose may not always be obvious, but always remember that you do have a purpose.”

—- Rodney Williams —-

I feel like I’ve gotten to the part of my life that’s like being in transit at the airport. I’m waiting for the plane to be ready to fly me to my next destination. I completed my university degree about two weeks ago now and believe to have experienced a downward spiral of emotions from my initial release and relief of finishing. My Mum has reminded me that where I am in my life at the moment is ok.

Completing my degree is a huge achievement and what I have found hard is to sit with this thought. To be in the moment.

I’ve been on a whirlwind of job searching and working in my current job/s as a nanny/babysitter and even though I have had more time than when I was a student it’s almost like I feel like I haven’t had the time to do anything else. I haven’t even had a couple of drinks with friends! How crazy is that?

Stress has taken over and what or who for?

Within the last few days I have decided that for now on I just have to live my life how it is, be in the moment and see where it takes me. Mum is right, it’s ok. It’s totally ok.

I’ve had many conversations with people who know me well recently about my life about what I’m trying to “figure out” and the best thing that I heard is “to stop worrying about figuring it and just have some down time because even when you think you have figured it all out, you really haven’t”
All I can say after hearing that is that I feel much better about it all. It’s not to say that I’ll put a stop to all that I’ve been doing. It’s just to say that I’m going to do my best to enjoy finishing something that has taken four years of my life to complete.

I put so much pressure on myself sometimes and I think that it’s taken me the last four years to realise this about myself. I’ve had a tough four years. I’m not just talking about my studies either. In my personal life I have experienced a lot of hard things that we as human beings endure. I even got to the point last year where I was stressed so much that I became sick a lot of the time, facing a diagnosis of Coeliac Disease, having my appendix removed and dealing with other bowel and adominal problems. Three years into my degree and I was ready to give up.

Now here I am and I’ve done it. I’ve put in all the hard work. I’ve achieved great results even in the face of hard times and I’ve conquered my degree. I’m a university graduate.

I’m a teacher!

That’s the first time I’ve managed to write that, to say it do myself and it feels great!

I’m finally congratulating myself and seeing what I’ve done and how amazing it is.

Plus I’ve just organised to celebrate with a uni friend of my mine – finally!

Lesson of the day:

If you’ve just completed something like finishing school, uni, a competition or anything else that has taken a lot of work, whatever that may be.  Enjoy it, stop worrying about your next step because in time your next chapter will begin! 🙂

My battle with gluten free breakfast!

So today I decided to make myself Quinoa Porridge! It took about half an hour to make which for breakfast is a bit of a drainer, so when I sat down and ate it, I thought to myself: “this better taste good!”

Guess what – it did! It tasted bloody brilliantly in fact. A little sweet so I’ve learnt for next time to add less golden syrup… but a part from that it was warm, crunchy (for the chopped almonds) and incredibly filling!

The afternoon has come and I can still feel a happy stomach and a sigh of relief!

My batttle with gluten free breakfast actually feels like it’s getting easier!

Back in the day before I knew of my Coeliac Disease, breakfast was simple. A couple pieces of toast, fruit and a cup of tea or if I had a bit more time – then I’d treat myself to eggs on toast, maybe even with a bit of bacon.

In the past year or so I’ve been learning what it’s like to live on a gluten free diet and breakfast as been the hardest meal to conquer. I’ve tried everything! From packaged rice porridge, fruit and yoghurt and of course gf cereal. Toast was set aside as gf bread is expensive and it’s hard to find a good loaf out there that isn’t like a brick.  Nothing has seemed to fill me up and I’m usually hungry about an hour after eating! It’s been frustrating as anything plus not exaclty that healthy either. Snacking is NOT a good alternative, that’s for sure.

It’s nice to finally be feeling like I can start the day like most normal people do – with a good breakfast! Since eating the Quinoa Porridge, I have felt fuller and have gained more energy. It put me in the mood to have a productive day. Instead of feeling sluggish and ‘starving’.

Being a coeliac has it’s moments and it’s definetly a learning curve on how to be a better cook in giving myself a healthy, delicious and filling diet. One that I can ensure will give me the most nutritients and thus allowing me to be the best that I can be.  When I discover new recipes like the porridge I made today I am faced with mixed feelings. Somewhere between triumph and feeling excluded. Triumph because I can eat something and enjoy it and exluded because I’m not a part of the ‘normal’ world anymore.

I know that these days being on gluten free diet is easier than it was ten or even five years ago but it doesn’t take away the ‘sucky’ feeling I have when I have to go food shopping, go to a restaurant, a friend’s house, a party or can’t be bothered and want take-way. There isn’t really an easy way out and today with my porridge I’m ok with that but maybe tomorrow things won’t be so easy.

I know I have to stick to the diet for my health and stay positive which I do with all my determination. But all I’m saying is – sometimes I wish I didn’t have to. Sometimes I wish I could walk across the road and buy some fish and chips and finish off the meal with an ice-cream in a cone – now that would be a real treat!!

In the meantime: here’s to brekky! You don’t know how amazing it is until you can longer find a simple way to enjoy it.

Signing off so I can more fun learning how to be a better gluten free cook! 🙂

 

 

 

 

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