Leaves make Autumn beautiful

As I am sitting here enjoying what has now turned into brunch. I cant help but to think what a beautiful Autumn we have had. I look out onto my backyard and get to witness all the beautiful colours that make up Autumn. As the last leaves are falling as we get ready for Winter this is what I get to see…

    

The colours I believe give us a sense of warmth through the reds, yellows and oranges and sometimes even silver, grey and blue we can visualise and remember the summer and spring just past… just as a new change is beginning. Autumn leaves have seen us through many changes…

When we were children we jumped and played in them…coming into Adulthood we walk through the old days and look forward to new things and as I’m almost at the end of my first semester of my final year I can see a new change emerging for me.

At this time of the year I always reflect on what has gone and what will happen next it’s exciting to think that I will be working at a school in my own classroom this time next year – a new change that will occur just like the seasons that change every year.

With every new season comes new foods in summer we eat ice-creams, have BBQs, Pavlova with summer berries, in spring we enjoy a good old lamb chop, in autumn it’s a spicy pumpkin soup and by winter we are eating comforting stews and warm apple pies!!

With each change we feel something different and we do different things… My change will be going from a student to being a teacher… It’s an exciting change but it’s a big change.

It’s bigger than going from jumpers to tee-shirts or soup to ice-cream…it’s more like taking a leap or jumping into the unknown…

I will be ready to take it on. But at this stage I can’t imagine how different it will actually be.

Signing off as I have to finish my final assignments for the semester…

I hope you are enjoying the colour of the leaves or whatever weather it is for where you are as that might be not quite the same. 😉

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A picture says a thousand words

I thought that I would get in early because tomorrow morning I’m doing the Mother’s Day Classic…. but…

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY – to my mum first of all

and to anyone else who is a mother.

All the best,

Emma 🙂

Printers, photocopiers, scanners and staplers!!!

You’ve completed the assignment, you’ve put together the last piece of the lesson and are ready to print.

As simple as that sounds it never is. You print and print and print…then it gets to the last page and the printer flashes: ERROR! ERROR! ERROR!

You think…oh drat what now – all I want is for this to be printed!!! Urggh!

So you unjam the paper, put more paper in the machine and make sure there is enough ink. All great so you print and print and print.

The printing is finished. YAY!!! We all shout for joy.

So you grab the stapler to staple the pages together. All simple again.

But wait. NO. You staple the pages TEN times before the stapler runs out of staplers.

A trip to the supermarket is needed.

You come home.

Staple – go through what seems like the box and FINALLY the pages get stapled together!!

YAY another small victory.

Then you put together the pieces of a lesson plan – the lesson that you have to teach TOMORROW!

This needs to be scanned…that needs to be photocopied… The scanner is having the issues…

The photocopier is OUT OF INK…

There aren’t any other solutions…

Do you make the templates yourself – yes!! Urgh…

So much effort, just for one small activity…

No one else notices… 😦

The next day the kids do some GREAT work.

All the stress gone.

YAY now some real celebration can commence until the next battle with the printer, photocopier, scanner and stapler – especially the dreaded stapler.

Apparently once you’re a real teacher you can bluff your way through these situations.

Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Looking forward to that.

Sleep tight and don’t let the bedbugs or staplers bite.

This anxious excited feeling!!

I go from feeling so excited that I’m literally jumping up and down to feeling so nervous I can’t eat some days in a manner of minutes and this is all because of this year. It’s roughly 5 -6 months before I will  have finished my course and will become a graduate teacher and each day, each week and each month I get just a little bit closer to end of the line.

Today is a good example of feeling really excited… before I was sitting in my kitchen writing an action plan – a tedious assignment placed there to torture us by our lecturers and even though it’s a drag to complete it felt necessary to complete. It was interesting to see where I am now and what I plan to do to achieve what I need to before the end of the year. If all goes well then a job will be in my sights!!

After tackling this work I went for a driving lesson, during this lesson my instructor said that I was doing really well and by the end he said it will probably only be a few more lessons before I’m driving with ease. With this in the back of my mind I could see that things were coming together…

Then I relayed my thoughts during a phone call to Mum and started to feel anxious again – I was back in the spiral!!

So I decided I needed to be here and right a post about it, besides it ties in nicely with all ideas behind this blog anyway so it does make sense!

It’s great to feel like I’m actually achieving something through doing this teaching degree. It’s not just that I’ll have a job. It’s a dream that I’ve had for a very long time that will actually come true. It’s the marks/grades I’ve received since I’ve started and it’s looking back at where I was when I began to where I am now.

The best bit is – I actually believe that it’s happening. I believe that I am capable and that once I get there I’ll be great.

I say this because it’s taken me through my entire education to believe so – that is also an achievement. To go from a kid with a lack of self-esteem and thinking that I couldn’t do much in the world to now believing that I can and will gives me such an amazing feeling…

For once I don’t need other people to point it out and better still I’m not second guessing when they do… My response isn’t a shy “Oh really??” it’s a confident “Thank-you!” and a facial expression that shows I agree!!

I don’t know if anyone else has ever felt this way – I’m sure there are plenty of people who have… but seriously it’s great, it makes me cry – in a good way and it makes me not want to settle for less, plus I also feel a somewhat sense of assertivness…not too over-powering as it’s not in my nature…but you know – I just feel good!!

I thought that I would keep this short – to say the end is near yikes/yay – and that persistence and hard work pays off. The thought of know that I’m nearly there makes me want to strive even more to get there and really do it!!

Give life a real crack otherwise there is no point – we only have one chance at it after all!

To my fellow Education P-12 students: we’re so close so lets keep at it, before we know it – we’ll blink and be graduate teachers!!!

Oh my goodness!!

Signing off to go make something to eat!! 🙂

 

Getting caught comparing ourselves to others.

It’s a tricky thing in this “modern life” to not compare yourselves to the people around you.

I remember as a teenager I used to think the worse about myself if I saw someone give me even the smallest of glances. Eventually though I think most teenagers think people are watching them all the time. Watching to see if you do the right by others, watching to see if you give up your seat for the elderly, what clothes you are wearing, the food you eat, etc – basically everything that makes up who you are.

I didn’t have the best self-esteem plus I took nearly everything personally…still to this day I have those moments where I think about what other might be thinking or think unrealistically about a situation. Maybe though we all go through that stage?

I have learnt the difference between my realistic thinking and my unrealistic thinking. I feel as though even if I have those thoughts right when I’m having them I somehow switch into a more realistic mode of thinking and things start to feel “normal” again.

Tonight though I got home from babysitting (my honeybun and sugar-plum) – a discrete reference because they aren’t my children…but I noticed a book at their house that they had a book called “The Mother’s Group” – I wasn’t snooping, it was on the coffee table clearly there for anyone to see…but it intrigued me…I googled of course and found out roughly what it was about…

The idea of a mother’s group has always been fascinating to me… first time mothers getting together to meet, talking about what it is to be a mother, getting tips,etc…

but in my classic way of thinking comes the idea that a group of women all incredibly tired, hormonal, all over the shop…etc then being placed in a group that they don’t know each other = disaster. Won’t they all “bitch” about each other? Won’t they all compare each other? the list goes on… I mean when you think about it women don’t grow out of being women…we’re naturally going to think like this and naturally talk about others behind our backs… a vicious cycle really…

I was able to attend a mother’s group meeting which I thought was great and worked well and have heard really great stories…

But there is something that Istilldon’t like the idea of them…

I’m pretty sure my mum didn’t have a mother’s group and at the end of the day she has just done her best.

I’m writing this because out of everyone out there in the world. (I believe) Mother’s get the most amount of criticism. They are criticised about everything. From sleep, food, clothes, their child’s development, the cleanliness of their home, the school’s their children go to, their careers – not just what they do but whether they work or not, the way they discipline their children…the list I would say is never-ending.

Mum says as soon as I decide to have children: that everyone will have an opinion and try to give you advice. Which will probably include the name that I decide on.

We are so lost these days that no one shares anything with anyone else except our partners (married or not).

I’m the type of person that will reach out for advice but do hope that I just do things the way I wish and to do my best.

We need to give the mother’s of the world a break, they have children…they haven’t slept since the day they were born…even my mother I still think doesn’t sleep properly. Plus children are meant to be children!

It’s not just mother’s though. It’s everyone…

Give yourselves a break. I know the world out there is full of things that influence our day-to-day lives and who we are but you still need to remember who that is. Deep down there is a person who has your believes, interests, personality, etc and you just need to be them.

Think back to when you were five – you went about your day, had fun, did your reading, writing and arithmetic, came home, ate dinner and went back and did it all over again.

When I was five I aspired to be a teacher and a mother. I sit here today still with those same aspirations…one will come true at the end of this year, the other when I’m ready and when Ifeelis right… but when I look at that person who played made-up games and didn’t care if my hair was neat or my clothes looked nice. I wish some part of that person could still be me… growing up has pushed me past those days…but back again to allow myself be who I am.

They say that it’s when you get to your 30s you feel most aware of who you are and most comfortable in your skin… but I believe it’s the five-year-olds we all once were.

If life were that simple, we would all be in ignorant bliss…

If a child can look up at you with their curls all tangled, food on their clothes but be completely happy and laughing – then why can’t we adults do the same?

Because we are all too worried!!

I think my point that I’ve been trying to say is look at who you are? What do you see?

Don’t look at John or Sally and think… they have it all and their lives are perfect, why I can’t I be more like them… cos believe me… you won’t.

If you would like to read my latest poem which relates to this post here is the link:

http://songbirdwriting.blogspot.com.au/2012/05/your-judgement-eyes.html

Signing off… to reflect upon a GREAT and happy Sunday!

Hope you all had a fantasitc day!! 🙂