“you are a star, therefore you are happy”

Upon reflection on today… there was a lot of thought towards what makes people happy, enthusiastic about things and people’s interests…

I had a day of Drama… in many respects, real or otherwise.

I started my morning with the anticipation of my first day back of uni. I was pretty anxious about getting there and I really didn’t want to be late – like usual. However with these things on my mind it was as though someone had decided that before the day had even begun that things wouldn’t be going smoothly…

I woke up feeling incredibly sick, I was nauseous and I had the feeling of being dehydrated, I thought that if I had my shower, I would come back downstairs feeling much better I could get dressed, eat some breakfast and be on my way. Well that wasn’t te case because I ended up feeling worse. I decided after getting dressed that the best thing to do was to go to the chemist to pick up something to stop feeling sick, then go to the milkbar to get some Gatorade – for the electrolytes… when I came home and had these things with some food, I did start to feel better… soon enough I was on my way and before you know I needed to go to the bathroom!!

Even though I was originally running on time I was now surely going to be late…urgh, one of my least favourite things is when I’m late to places! What followed was every piece of connecting public transport I had missed! Once I got to my final station and was running for the bus – the bus driver saw me and decided to keep driving so as I am the determined one… I decided to walk! But somehow managed to go a longer way than usual!! urgh urgh urgh… Another muggie day so I arrived at uni in a bit of a “mood”, sweaty and 35 mins late – really NOT good…

I soon realised that all they had managed to do was go through the unit guide and make introductions to each other – so basically I missed the most and my least favourite dreaded part of the class!! I didn’t have to say:

“Hi I’m Emma, I’m in 4th year, doing this subject cos I didn’t do it last year, etc, etc…” So thank goodness for that!

The part of class that I had arrived to was a discussion on what we want our students to get out of teaching performance (Drama and Dance), the skills it takes for us to be a teacher… and always my favourite and usually most heated…

Why is Drama considered Fun, a bludge, not as hard as other subjects, get scaled down during VCE and all that stuff that I just lovveeeee talking about…

I decided to contribute to this discussion with some of my teaching rounds experience of last year… this is roughly what I said:

When I was at *insert school here* I was able to observe a lot of different classes because the school was small, I had a lot of time and took the opportunity to do so. I was able to see pretty much every subject this school had to offer and therefore students studying different things… The one thing I picked up was an example of Performance VS Maths, the students who were in my class were all crazy about performance and were enthusiastically participating in that class – when they got to Maths they had no interest so they didn’t participate and didn’t perform as well. Then I got to observe a physics class with a different set of students but who were just as enthusiastic as the performance students except they were doing Physics – if these students had been in performance their enthusiasm for the subject would have completely dropped.

Basically you’re good at what you’re interested in because you’re interested in the work – therefore you will do well. Who is to say which subject is harder than another? Another clear example is looking at me and a friend of mine. We are very similar but also very different. I’m very arty/crafty whereas she is more sciency and she told me that if she had to have done an art folio in VCE – she would have most likely have failed because she wouldn’t even know where to begin.

This is why these systems put in place to grade students in order for them to complete year 12 – is B-U-L-L…

It then turned to fun drama activities where we looked at improvisation, we had a couple of fun games to start off the lesson, some group improv activities and then finishing off with an activity where we did mini performances after been given a stimulus – the class went quickly and everyone had fun and it took me back to so many theories about Drama etc… We all chose this subject to teach, therefore are enthusiastic and think these activities are fun… 😛

I travelled back home where I had a smooth run, a cup of tea, a gluten-free cookie and was off again to meet a friend…

We had dinner and then went to see “My week with Marilyn” and I must say that it was incredible!

Many questions could be asked after seeing that film… we could have continued my discussions that I had with my peers… what makes a good actress? what is considered acting? What are the boundaries when it comes to love and those you work for? continuing on – What is the appropriate age gap for lovers? What makes a good film/play? Should someone regardless of their star status still show up to work on time? There are pretty much endless possibilities…

What stuck with me though is the quote from the film which is also the title of this post – “You are a star, therefore you are happy” and just from this film alone – not based on any information – besides the woman herself is the only person who could really answer this question…

I don’t think she was happy… Being a star doesn’t automatically make you happy, does it? The film portrayed her as someone who lacked confidence, was always popping pills, as someone who was sexy, etc and then on the other side Someone who didn’t believe in herself and someone who went with the flow to please others. It really didn’t seem like she had any control over her life at all.

What is happy? How do you measure your happiness, if measurement is the way to do so? I think for myself that there have been many times that I have been happy and many times that I haven’t. When I have been both happy and not, different things have done it for me and can change instantly from one to the other. If you had asked me just over 18 months ago I was very sad because I had lost a dear friend of mine… and now I’ve learnt to live with and accept that loss and find things to be happy about. Sometimes also just because you might be in a crabby mood doesn’t mean that you aren’t still happy underneath.

I think though that sitting here today ultimately I am happy… why – well that’s because I have a lot to offer, for the first time in a long time I believe in myself, I have uni to go to, a job that pays the bills, family to support me even if they aren’t all well friends that are close, lovely house-mates that are problem solvers, a lovely house to live in, resilience that has been learnt and I’m living in, coping with the stressors from life as they come and knowing that even if overall a day can be bad there is still something good. So yes I am happy!

I may have wet and possibly ruined shoes thanks to the rain today… but happy nonetheless.

Lesson from today:

Drama/Dance/Theatre studies and performance can come in many packages… but when you look at what is there – you might be able to smile and accept the life you have because I’m sure it’s great, you just have to believe it.

SO – what makes you happy?

Signing off… sweet dreams! 🙂

Last day of summer holidays

So my last day of holidays was actually pretty ordinary but also pretty exhausting… Mainly due to the heat. Right now it’s only 21 so pretty pleasant but because it was a lot hotter during the day (plus 35…) inside the house has become  incredibly muggie which is really just disgusting…

You feel sticky, grubby, tired and as though you can’t be bothered to do anything. Also if you’re anything like me then and you absolutely cannot stand the heat then you just become naturally cranky and start hating the world.

The last day of the holidays is always about organising things add heat and it becomes a blur and generally you can’t be bothered.

My to do list for today was:

*Eat breakfast

* Get keys cut for new house-mate moving in

*Organise room so I can use it to study

*Get a hair cut

*Find out times for a movie I’m seeing tomorrow

*In between everything else – eat and drink plenty of water cos of the heat and you know normal stuff that you do but don’t put on a to do list

*Make sure that old house-mate comes to sign the bond realise and collect his mail

*Move furniture so that person who is buying it can collect it

*Food shopping

ETC…

But really this is what happened:

I decided that when I woke up I didn’t quite feel like eating breakfast or getting up so I decided that I would watch a couple of videos on YouTube, I knew it was going to be hot so the thought of getting out of bed felt incredibly awful. On hot days I find that my mind is always somewhere else and I had already forgotten what I needed to get done. In this case some of these things meant that I had to venture outside and endure the heat. At this point though I was oblivious to this fact and was deliriously happy to the thought of lying in bed. It felt like I was going to have the typical Sunday, the one that meant you didn’t eat breakfast until it was more like brunch, you could get dressed at any point of the day and things to do were non-existent.

I got a bit bored of lying in bed so I decided to get a cup of Chai Tea and sit and watch the end of Sabrina, last night after coming home from looking after my two favourite little girls 🙂 (my work that doesn’t feel like work) I decided to be really silly and start watching Sabrina so now I had to finish watching it while drinking my tea… and like I have already mentioned, it was hot so my mind was mushy as yucky peas…

As the morning was passing and the day was nearly turning into the afternoon I had realised that I had stuff to do. That meant no more typical Sunday and going outside to face the heat. Great. At this point in time I had already watched a bunch of videos on YouTube, checked my email I think several times, gone onto Facebook also several times, looked at my uni timetable and it had dawned on me my so-called perfect uni timetable was completely stuffed. I had worked out last year that I would have two days at uni, two days work and one day for my teaching rounds – then the weekend to study or weekend stuff. It was going to work out really well!! So I called my Mum, the person that I turn to for pretty much anything – although being my mother there are still boundaries… At first she was going off the whole: you need to grow up and not have me go to her for things but then she realised that I was debriefing… That’s what I do. De-brief with pretty much everyone who just happens to be there…

After getting off the phone to my Mum I decided to contact a couple of my uni friends and before I knew it I was changing my timetable around to fit in with my uni – that’s usually how it goes. I swear they think all we do is going to uni. Uni consists of 26 weeks of the year – it’s not all we do! I’ve worked out that I probably have to be there an extra day… which will probably only mean one day of work, but maybe if I can have a half day as well then it should be ok… plus I have all my casual work too so I should be ok…

After all of this I thought I should go to the chemist because I needed some period pain medication and knew that it was coming – I had one dose left but knew that wasn’t enough so I was trying to be organised because I KNOW what it’s like to not have the tablets when you need them… on my way there though I realised it was Sunday – duh Emma it’s not open on a Sunday so then thought while I outside I would go to the milkbar to get the keys cut…

My thoughts were on food as I still hadn’t managed to eat breakfast and it was hot and I was probably getting de-hydrated too – it wasn’t good but I still went to the milkbar… Got the keys cut went home, tested them and they didn’t work, went back, got them re-cut, didn’t work then again and finally another time but by then they had decided to give me a refund and a whole hour of the day had gone by which then meant it was the afternoon and my stomach was still empty!

Bowl of cereal in hand I went back to my room to eat it because for some reason I wanted to eat it there… I don’t know I hadn’t had any caffeine that day – don’t like to do that in the heat… so my room just seemed right…

I think at this stage during the day I had gone back to YouTube videos and all that jazz… I had also decided that I should get some dishes out-of-the-way, so chucked them into the dishwasher cos I really couldn’t be bothered to hand wash them… then I had a nap – a very long one… and woke up feeling like C-R-A-P

It was then necessary to spend some time with my cat Zeke and I also thought that I would watch another one of the DVDs that I borrowed last week and hadn’t yet watched – plus they were due back at the video shop tomorrow – so really it all made sense… I had also just been to this shop called Clay – they sell all natural things and the majority of them are organic and as I have a gluten-free diet it was perfect…plus my new house-mates told me they sell GF bread and because I hadn’t bought bread in more than two weeks I got bread, GF Choc-chip cookies and free fresh basil – now that’s pretty awesome.  So I made myself some iced coffee and a plate of cookies… cookies I haven’t had choc chip cookies for ages so I was in heaven…

Sat down to Roman Holiday and just enjoyed the moment… so did Zeke.

My old house-mate finally came over to collect his mail and sign the bond transfer form, Mum came over to move some furniture that had just been sold and then period pain had sunk in… heat pack in the heat… yay… I still felt like crap, was grumpy as all and yeah just was in a mood…

My new house-mates though cleaned the kitchen and it was clean just in time for my dinner – turned out to be a brown rice salad with things that I had in the fridge and some olive oil… yum…

Last and final thing of the day was writing my first blog post while watching fools rush in and getting excited cos Beth Broderick aka Zelda Spellman from Sabrina the Teenage Witch one of my favourite T.V shows from all time that I still watch was in it – just for a short time but still…

I’ll soon get ready for bed and then start the day with washing my hair with new shampoo/conditioner and finally getting to my desk because instead of 8:00am I start at 12:00 so I’ll have more time!! Plus I won’t have to wake up at 5:30!!

Signing off… see you on another day… maybe tomorrow or the next we will soon see…

 

From today I learnt:

Life is sometimes doing things that you don’t like…

and watching Audrey Hepburn and movies that she stars in just makes you want to enjoy life… especially when you see her in Rome eating Gelati.